This probably shouldn't be concerning me already, but how do you get used to a new name without anyone calling you that yet? I would like to feel more of a connection to my new name. It kinda worries me when I hear it and don't feel like it is me yet. Any thoughts or shared experience?
I just referred to myself as Margo and pictured others calling me that. It's actually really good for experimenting 'cause it let's you try out names without having to constantly tell people what your new preferred name is. I also put it in my signature here on EC. I see it below every post I make and it gives me a feeling of "that's the name of who made this post" and it gets me used to people knowing me by my preferred name even though I'm mostly referred to by my screen-name on here.
If you play video games maybe introduce yourself to people under that name, then you will get more used to being referred to as said name.
Try using it online; like with sites like here or even in the gaming universe. I know using forums and message boards helped me get adjusted to having a different name. If you use Facebook, you can also try private/secret/closed trans support groups.
Good tips above. It usually takes some time getting used to, but in my experience, it's nothing to worry about. It's just a matter of time.
hey OP i noticed your orientation says queer i assume you were attracted to women when you came out now that youre a man are you queer as in gay man on man. or idk just curious
Hey, I know it is kinda confusing. I just mean that people in my life think I am a lesbian, not a straight man.
When I read your post, I just pictured the way that kids in school write their names over and over on a peice of paper when they are bored in class.
My advice is, if you're like me and can't tell anyone you know in person about trans stuff, use it a lot online. Go on forums using the name - EC of course is a good place, but if you're on any other forums you can give it a shot too. Imagine your friends calling you by it, or your future spouse calling you by it, etc. Imagine it being used in different scenarios. Don't worry about not being used to it yet, or if it still feels a bit strange for a while. It's very normal; it took me a long time to get used to my name because nobody ever uses it for me in my life. But now it feels like mine.
I'm considering changing my surname, and a lot of the advice that I came across was similar to what is already on here, but also, you could introduce yourself to strangers using your new name, maybe. And seeing as with a name change, you'd have to edit your signature so that it spells your new name instead, maybe write down some possible new signatures and decide on which one you like best.
Thanks guys! I have been using it on forums and stuff. How do I change my signature btw? I don't play games anymore besides the sims 3 and 4 sometimes. I did make myself a male character in CAS to imagine what I might look like some day and used the name. I used to play WoW. Now I wish I still did. I like Delta's siri idea though I don't have an iphone. I do also specifically want to get used to hearing it out loud. Only my therapist has called me that out loud.
Click this to edit sig It does take time to feel comfortable with a name and start recognising it as your own. I've been called Isaac/Zac out loud for about 3 months now and it's only just starting to click. I think its also when you realise that people start seeing you as that name and aren't just saying it because you're making them. It'll come eventually you just have to give it time and remember that you're allowed to change it if it starts to feel like it doesn't fit anymore.
This might sound weird, but maybe it'll help. One thing that has actually surprisingly helped me is that I watch a show in where one of the characters' name is Jacob (Jake), and because I watch it so much, I get to hear my name used a lot. Sure, it's not directed at me, but somehow it still indirectly helped me get used to it being heard out loud, and helped me imagine how it'd be like for other people to use it for me. If it's any way possible for you to find a TV show or even a celebrity (correct me if I'm wrong but your name is Patrick right? You can definitely check out Patrick Stump), where you can hear your name being used out loud and in different contexts, and it could be useful.
not sure if this'll help you at all but I sometimes I find just saying in my head a few times a day 'I'm Tom' helps it become more associated with myself (kinda like a mantra). And also imagining introducing myself as Tom to other people. I'm also not yet using this name in real life.
