What if i'm not really trans??

Me personally, no. Being trans is something I was always consciously aware of and never questioned if I made the wrong choice in pursuing the idea of transitioning.

 

Rarely

 

Yes, not so much now, but a couple months back [or when I really start worrying about the following things]. My doubt has mainly come from other people telling me that NB genders don't exist (i.e. you're either cis or trans male or female) and that NB genders are merely identities and not real genders, and that NB gender can change overtime.

I know that dysphoria I have now is real and that my identity as agender is real. I can ignore the rest of people - there was a time people thought trans people didn't exist - and we know they do. Sometimes I do worry about the last one more than the others, since I don't know the future. But if I were to predict the future (for some humor: if I could steal the TARDIS and see my future) I would still be agender.

My advice would be to take it slowly. Maybe just come out to a group that is separate from your main group, or one close friend if you need someone in real life to talk to. But for the big people like parents (maybe siblings) wait a while, until you are certain in yourself and certain you won't be in danger if you came out. Also when you feel you are ready in general.

Another thing to remember is that *dysphoria is different for everyone - so ''trans enough'' (''NB enough'' or ''cis enough'') doesn't really exist; it's about your identity and what is right for you.

It's difficult [or at least for me] living in a cis/binary world that wants to doubt anything that they do not feel / isn't common, but only with supporting others find their true identity can we stop cis/binary people doubting others. On top of that, * ,so one person cannot fully tell someone that they are ''not [insert identity]''. Another person can help with the process, draw on own experiences and what they've heard from others, but that's as much as another can do.

Hope this helps.

 

Gender expression is not related to gender identity; unless you associate a particular expression with the identity.

For example; a boy wearing make up might associate wearing make up with his identity of being male. Whereas a transgirl might associate wearing make up with her identity of being female. It isn't the make up [expression] that decides the identity, but [perhaps] the association that comes with it.

 

I go from completely sure to in serious doubt at the drop of the hat.
I'm afraid that something as simple as admiring a female character in a book might mean I'm not trans.

I think doubting is something more common among those who weren't always aware they were trans, or those who have little to none dysphoria

 

Well, I know it's all in my head.

Here's the thing: I can't live without my head.

 

Ah, don't worry about being the only one, I'm heavily doubting my gender right now too.

 

Honestly, I doubt my gender frequently, and I've IDed as trans for over two years now. Personally, I am an anxious person and I doubt myself constantly, so doubting my ability to be sure of my own gender is not unexpected for me. For me, it's usually one of two issues: 1) I often question my gender when I am not actively feeling dysphoria, and start to worry that I was making it up or misinterpreting my feelings. When I am dysphoric, I have no doubts about what I'm feeling, but when I'm having a good day, it's easy to start thinking I was wrong. 2) I doubt myself when I do things that don't seem "trans enough", although this is something I'm getting more confident about lately and tend to worry about less. But if I have a day when I feel like wearing a dress, I sometimes worry that I'm not enough of a guy to count, or if, in a specific situation, I feel comfortable being called by my birth name, I'll get worried. I'm getting better at not worrying about social stuff like that (basically everything social is bullshit and names and clothing have nothing to do with gender unless you agree to gender them), although I still worry that I'm not "trans enough" if I see people who think that I don't experience dysphoria in the "right" way (I rarely have significant bottom dysphoria, and some people say that's necessary to be trans) or that you have to be miserable as your assigned gender in order to justify transition (I'm not remotely comfortable as my assigned gender, but some people think I'm still not miserable enough), I can still get worried that I'm not really trans, or not trans in the right way.

 

You're not alone, I question myself all the time. It's not that I think I don't want to be female, it's that I question if it's worth it or if I will be happier once it's all over. It's expensive, a lot of work, and I will likely lose friends/family during the whole process. Sometimes I stop and wonder if I could just be happy as a guy my whole life, even if I might be happier as a girl.

For me personally, it comes down to my body more than anything. I could just identify as non binary and at least be myself as far as personality goes, but I would be much happier and much more secure in a female body (that's just me personally though). The way I look at it, even if I transition I can still be into the same things I liked as a guy. There isn't a guideline for what I can and can't like, or things I can or can't do. I would just be that much happier in a female body, and feel more open to express myself that way.

What I'm trying to say is: determine what exactly you are looking to transition for. A lot of people won't take HRT or fully transition, and that's fine. It's all about finding yourself and realizing what will make you happy. It could be as simple as dressing up and wearing makeup, or as complex as taking HRT and getting multiple surgeries. The important part is figuring that out then setting your mind on it. You will likely sway in your feelings toward it, but just remember that you can't really make things worse by starting down the path. It's just important to take that first step in realizing yourself. Anyway I'm ranting, but I'm just trying to voice what I have learned in the last couple months ^_^

 

I question a lot. I want to look like a man. I'd prefer to wear suits than dresses and no make-up. When I was really little, up until I turned six, I didn't mind girly clothes. Then, I wished I was a boy.

 

I question it a lot. I'm scared of having to "pick" one, I'm unhappy with the idea of always being one or the other. But at the same time, I'm scared that I won't get any respect. Genderfluidity seems right on the edge of common acceptance where it's considered a gender by some and an absurd "otherkin" type fad by others. And I want to be taken seriously, I'm a fairly proud person and it's humiliating to be mocked.

So I think a lot of my questioning is cold feet on whether I can really be strong enough to come out. Which would kill me faster, not being the way I feel inside, or being vulnerable all the time because I am? I don't know. So, I don't know if I'm "trans enough" to count if I'm so scared.

 

I have a lot of doubts, and I think that's normal. Some trans people have more doubts than others but it's normal to not be completely certain sometimes. From my experiences with both sexuality and with gender, I've learn to let some of the doubts be there and come and go, because over time I begin to get a clearer picture, rather than trying to resolve all doubts on the spot. It may take some time, but keep exploring; it's alright to have doubts, they don't invalidate you - just keep trying to move in a direction that feels more positive for you and some doubts actually end up resolving themselves over time.