I'm not sure how to go about "living as male". I haven't even been able to hold a job in the past 2 years (I'm 21) because of extreme social anxiety/dysphoria and depression. How do you go about dealing with the legal documents/IDs when getting a job if they haven't been changed? And if I were to get a job, how would I go about transitioning once I've already started working? I get extremely stressed out when thinking of all of this. I've just started school this year, part time, and just thinking about going in to try to change my name and everything in the school records (I don't even know if you can) gives me horrible anxiety. The school doesn't have any resources that I know of...there is ONE therapist in my city who is willing to take trans patients and I just had a consultation with her last week. She confirmed that there are no resources here and the closest city with any is Dallas (2 hours away). Side note: I've been I've been pretty withdrawn since puberty as it triggered my severe social dysphoria/anxiety and depression. I pushed away all my friends at the time and any new ones I've made, I eventually push away. I've been so adamant about covering up my "queerness" for my family that I have a very hard time opening up to people. My family (except parents) are super anti LGBT and very hateful so I've decided to not come out to them until I've at least begun transitioning. I think this "living two lives" thing and the thought of all of the confrontation involved in changing documents, dealing with people who don't understand, etc is what gives me so much anxiety. I'm hoping to get a lot of help with my anxiety from this counselor but for now I was just wondering if anyone had any tips for navigating social situations without feeling like someone is going to ask for my ID or read my name on the call list at school and make me freak out.
