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Why me? (A very rambly free form poem.)

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Pistachio, Jun 1, 2016.

  1. Pistachio

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    This isn't very good, but I'm still learning, and I made it to vent some difficult feelings. I just want to get it out there. I didn't know where else to post it, so I'll put it here in hopes that it helps someone or another somehow. :confused:
    Stay strong <3
    --
    A minority of a minority.

    A barely visible
    Easily ignorable, improbable
    Percentage within a percentage within a percentage
    All that it boils down to is-

    Why me?

    A question I asked myself that I didn't want to answer
    Didn't want to acknowledge the slightest chance that I wasn't a "her"
    A door I didn't want to open concealing contents I didn't want to see

    Why me?

    I find myself wishing I was just a lesbian after all
    It took months to boil and settle
    That I was not a heterosexual after all..
    Am I to be flip flopped again
    Forever fragmented and lost in a hazey maze
    Unchanged by the constant question of

    Why me?

    Am I destined to be not good enough?
    The half girl he she
    To love and to never to be loved?
    All because of a couple of chromosomes and a white-gloved doctor
    Who looked at a newborn and said;
    "It's a girl!"
    Yippee. If only that's all there was to me.
    Me.

    Why me?

    Drunk with the deadly disease that is dysphoria
    Trying to find an oasis in the middle of
    The flood that devastated my distinctly peaceful headspace
    A diamond in the rough
    That glitters among sandy sinkholes
    Saddened by a world that sees only the black and white
    Where hatred glows just as bright as that question
    That existential inquiry

    Why me?
     
    #1 Pistachio, Jun 1, 2016
    Last edited: Jun 1, 2016
  2. Rickystarr

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    I love it. That echos my thoughts very closely and you are a skilled poet. Also, I love the name Anthony!
     
  3. Pistachio

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    Thanks so much, Patrick!

    ---------- Post added 1st Jun 2016 at 06:22 PM ----------

    And I'm sorry you feel similarly.. I know it sucks.
     
  4. Snoww

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    Nice poem! You have skills!
     
  5. Pistachio

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    Thank you :grin:
     
  6. Mihael

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    Poetry slam!

    Okey, I'm trying to come up with something...

    You're the one, you've been chosen
    Even if it sometimes feels like you're frozen
    Even if your heart is hurting to the core
    The needle of ice pierces guts like the devil's chord

    Hey my brother
    We've at least got one another
    You know your true name is Anthony
    Enough and of a kind one
    You do you, you're a he
    Not the copy but the original

    When the stars align
    Then it's the time
    And place
    And space
    Why - we'll never know
    Fate it's mysetries already closed
    Sank them in the dark ocean
    Of nothingness and interstellar motion

    Sometimes you wanna scream
    An existential "Why?!" into the sky dim
    Especially when acute pain steps in
    Mourning griefing losing of a me.

    Yet if we knew everything
    Would be the life worth living?
    I dare say no and about it there is no waste
    As bread would one day would lose its taste
    If it would always be the same
    So fascinating wouldn't be the game

    Yo :wink:
     
    #6 Mihael, Jun 2, 2016
    Last edited: Jun 2, 2016
  7. Pistachio

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    Thanks emerry, I needed that today.. Lovely poem :")

    Yo :wink:
     
  8. Mihael

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    Hugs (*hug*)
     
  9. Pistachio

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    (*hug*)