So I have been questioning things for years now, and much more so in this last year. While I am almost certain that I am a trans female, I really feel like I need to talk it out with someone. I came out to my mom about 6 months ago and she basically told me to wait on it to see if I change my mind and can live life as a guy, but things really haven't changed and I'm ready to do something about it. I feel like everything just came to a grinding halt when I told her rather than it being the huge step forward I was hoping for. Anyway, how do I go about finding a good therapist? I looked around briefly and saw some therapists but they weren't really specialized in transgender studies, they just had it bundled in with everything else. Should I be looking specifically for someone who specializes in it? Also, what's a decent rate? Most of the therapists wanted $175 for the first session and I think $90 per hour after that. That seems really high to me, and I don't want to get stuck in a loop of going once a month for an entire year before reaching any kind of conclusion or starting with HRT if that's deemed the next step. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I would like to talk to someone who can run through everything with me and help me decide if I should go through with transitioning without spending thousands on therapy sessions first. I'm just not sure what to look for and don't want to waste my time on a therapist who doesn't really know what to look for or do.
You can usually find some via Google (ex: gender therapists in *your zip code*). Some therapists can also work with you via a sliding scale if you don't have much money. I know one person I saw only charged me $25 for an hour long session. If you know any LGBTQ friendly clinics, they might be able to help you find a therapist to work with as well.
I have never looked for a gender therapist specifically, but I think the psychology today website is really helpful for finding a therapist. The profiles almost feel like online dating for a service provider. I love my therapist, and I found her that way. Based on her profile, I kind of think I'm her ideal client. Lots of insurance policies cover mental health stuff. Mine covers 90% after my deductible is met (same deductible for regular docs and mental health on my specific policy). But, my deductible isn't met, so I'm paying a discounted/negotiated cash rate. Your insurance company has a service provider website that lets you look for who takes your insurance, and then you can look at their psychology today profile to see if you like them or not. Also, if you don't like them in person, quit and go see someone else. You are not in a life long, committed, exclusive, therapeutic relationship with someone after your first date, er, appointment. But, yeah, don't waste your time with someone who doesn't know much about gender issues. At the first appointment, or on the phone before hand, ask about their qualifications, training, and experience. If they don't seem super comfortable, ask if there is a local therapist they would recommend for these issues. You can do it!!!
Unfortunately, I have no health insurance. I have looked into it, but most providers don't seem to support any transgender things (HRT, SRS, therapy, or any surgeries) where I live. Even then, the policies I could get are ridiculously priced ($300+ per month), which isn't worth it if I can't even use it for what I need it for. My biggest problem (other than money right now) is that I need to get this all answered as soon as I can. My dysphoria changes on a daily basis in almost polar opposite directions. If I could just have someone sit down with me, hear me out, and tell me one way or the other I would be happy. It's just this questioning that's killing me. I guess what I fear is finding a therapist who is more interested in multiple sessions and working out my "problems", rather than helping me decide which direction I should go in. I know it's not an easy "you're female" or "you're male", but I also don't want to be blowing through my money on therapy before I even get anywhere and the sooner I can remove the stress of this indecision the better. I'll see if I can't look around more online and maybe call a few places on my next day off. Thanks guys
