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gender apathy - anyone else feel like this?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by pastelwyvern, Jun 6, 2016.

  1. pastelwyvern

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    I identify as a cis girl, but I'm not totally sure about it. I've never had dysphoria or felt like I wasn't truly a girl, but I feel fine being referred to as "he" or "they". I also would be fine with having a gender neutral or masculine name, like Charlie for example.
    Once my friend had his cousin over and when asked my name, he said, "um... James" just to mess around. I was called James for the next hour and it didn't feel weird or unfamiliar. It was actually nice to have that little change.
    On the other hand, I like my feminine body, hair, and face. I like being a girl and there are plenty of feminine names I'd love to have. Ultra femininity is fun.
    I suppose I see myself as a girl, but as a person and soul first.
    Honestly I don't know what to make of all this. I know only I can define my gender, and it's not bothering me that I don't really know what it's called. I just want to know if there's anyone else who feels this way out there.
     
  2. baconpox

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    Most people who aren't trans don't care that much about their gender. Almost no one sees themselves as their gender before their personality, and plently of girls aren't bothered by being mistaken for guys (and vice versa).
     
  3. darkcomesoon

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    I mean, I see myself as a guy, but as a person first. That's not unusual. I think most people want to be seen as a people first.

    If you've never felt like you're not a girl, I think you're a cis girl. It's not unusual for cis people to not care so much about names and pronouns.
     
  4. FierceQueerdo

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    I don't know if it's the same feeling or not, but I have an often fluid and indifferent relation to pronouns and gender labels. I do experience some gender dysphoria, especially when I'm immersed in groups of people that don't respect gender variance, but it's never been the most serious mental health issue I have. I am undeniably not straight and not cis, but so long as people recognize that about me, I'm not overly concerned with being called "pan" over "bi," or "genderqueer" over "agender," and I'm ok being referred to with fluctuating pronouns. I actually kind of like how my gender expression can destabilize language that way. It reminds me that I am irreducibly unique and that words can't ever fully describe what makes people special. That said, a lot of people take pride in their identity, so I'm not like against labels or anything so long as they're not being imposed on people.
     
    #4 FierceQueerdo, Jun 7, 2016
    Last edited: Jun 7, 2016
  5. Just Call Me Ky

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    I think I feel similar but I have actually wondered many times if I was trans. I have come to the conclusion that I am not, but I am pretty versitile when it comes to gender. Transitioning to male wouldn't make much difference to me since I feel guyish some days and girlish other days. So I can understand how a transgender person could feel opposite their biological gender, but I also understand having a lot of comfort in the gender assigned at birth. It has to be difficult for transgender people when that comfort isn't there. I can empathize but I am not in any place to say that I know what it is like to live life struggling with gender on the daily. Thanks for posting and being honest and open @pastelwyvern. Lots of love to all those struggling with gender identity. Lots of love to those struggling in different ways. I've got enough love to go around :slight_smile: -Ky
     
  6. SHACH

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    Gender apathy. I think I will take that on to describe myself. Thats basically how I feel. Okay maybe I feel a bit more like I want to be able to claim boyish things, so I am thinking about gender, but generally I just don't understand the concept and I dont really care that it exists. Me saying that is probably highly frustrating to trans people now I think about it. But I just mean in terms of myself personally that's the general feeling I get.
    When I'm talking to trans people and about trans stuff here I am actually sympathetically concerned about gender lol. Anyway, I don't think this carefree feeling is much to be questioning your gender over. I think it's quite the opposite feeling that should really make you question. Dysphoria so to speak.
     
  7. Mihael

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    Sounds about normal, whether you're cis or trans or whatever.
     
  8. emmadances

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    Yeah, I definitely feel like a person before a gender (or race, or sexual orientation :slight_smile:)
     
  9. thepandaboss

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    Honestly, I think that's normal. And, really, if it weren't for the fact I was transitioning, my gender really wouldn't be a big deal. Just a guy. I do okay.