No one is surprised I am trans. (Update/rant)

...No one that knows I'm trans now was surprised at all when they found out. XD I was so worried that I would have to like argue my case and people were going to deny it, but yeah. People actually think it is silly that I think they would be shocked. One of my childhood friends knows now and barely reacted, and I thought it would be especially strange for people I have known a long time since I wasn't masculine presenting until my mid teens.

Sooo yeah there isn't much stopping me from transitioning now (besides money). It all seems much less daunting and controversial when no one is surprised at all. I kinda feel like my trepidation was pointless. I almost cried when I told my sister, now I feel like an idiot lol. The only thing holding me back from beginning my transition was the reactions of others and no one cares so now I'm just really excited even though I've been terrified all year. I guess part of me is a little disappointed that no one understands that it is a big deal, but that is really a good thing! It makes it seem like less of a big deal to me.

Of course it is a big deal in a way, but I don't want it to be. That is not how I am. I am chill and feeling so self centered and melodramatic since I started really having dysphoria just doesn't feel like me. I have felt like a total stranger.

So yeah, things are looking up for me. I'm out to four people now. Now that four people know and reacted positively/not at all, the people I have left seem easier. I should be starting T in the next six months.

Feel free to share your experience with odd reactions from people.

 

You are right, I meant it more like long and annoying XD

 

Haha yeah apparently I am a pretty terrible woman too. Every time I do something innocent like scratch myself under my pants, my fiancee says something like "how are you still trying to deny you are a dude?" XD

I am not really in denial any more though. Sometimes I just find little arguments against it.

 

Sounds about like how I came out to my fiancee. I wouldn't have so soon if she wasn't so desperate to know what was wrong with me.

Also I told her she could tell people but she is like naw. My sister said she will tell some people for me though lol. The more she tells the less I have to. I still don't really like talking about it.

---------- Post added 7th Jun 2016 at 07:18 PM ----------

And thanks for all the support you guys! But I still have one hurdle: my mother. And everyone that knows basically said the same thing when they found out: "that makes sense! Have fun telling your mom, she is prolly gonna be a judgy bitch about it." Lol

 

Ilu and your supportive comments <3

 

Alright! So another update on this. I didn't feel the need to start another thread even though this one is like a week old.

So, as most of you probably know, I am relying on my sister to help me tell people I'm trans. I've been particularly concerned about my mom's possible reaction, but my sister told her a few hours ago and apparently even my own mother wasn't surprised. That is all she's told me so far, but I'm meeting my sister tomorrow for lunch and she is going to tell me more in person. I must say, I was really expecting my mom to have a negative reaction so this is quite a surprise. A big relief for sure because I don't want to have problems with her. I really hate awkward conversations. But is it wrong of me to have mixed feelings about all this? That no one is surprised? I am 99% certain I am trans at this point but it's like part of me still wants that plausible deniability. I was expecting at least one person to argue that reality and tell me no and tell me why it can't be true. I'm excited about transition and finally being seen as who I am, but I'm still terrified of the doctor's visits and the poking and prodding and the injections and blood tests and surgeries and just...discrimination and having a hard life. It is like I'm looking for an excuse to not transition even though I know it is what I need and an inevitability.

I'll post again tomorrow when I find out what she actually said, but I just had to get that out there. This is a strange feeling.

 

Another aspect of this: I have been telling myself and others that my mom would be my main obstacle in transitioning and now that as far as I know she is not too upset about it, that basically means it is time to start considering socially transitioning. I had this timeline in my head that said I would start socially transitioning by the end of the year if I'm lucky, and all that depended on my mom knowing. Well the year is only half way over and my mom knows, but I'm still no where near ready to transition. For God's sake, I only admitted it to myself a couple of months ago, though I know I've really known sooner. I still have some other people to tell, but jeez, everything feels like it is moving so fast now. And yet not fast enough because I've suspected I was trans low key, prolly close to 5 years now. I have been hiding this for so long I just want everything to happen now, but in reality I am not mentally prepared for it yet.