I really like the names Nathan (Nate), Alexander (Alex) and Lucien (Lukas/Luke) but am having trouble choosing? I also like the name Remus but feel like people won't take me seriously if I choose that, so I might just use it as a nickname? Also, I like the middle name Elinor because it was my great-grandpas name, but my parents would then call me "El" which is similar to my brith name... Do any of the names sound good to you together? I guess what I'm asking for is if anyone has any ideas to help me decide? I've tried writing them down and saying it in a mirror but it doesn't seem to help too much. Any suggestions? I've managed to stress myself out about this alot, but also feel it's important to have a name before i transition further.
I went through this stage. Still unsure of the one I settled with. What I found to be most helpful was asking the few friends and immediate family members that I had already told for their opinions. They easily ruled out a couple of them that I liked. Get them to try some of them out on you for a day or two and see how it feels, how you react to hearing it, etc. It can take a while to feel comfortable with it though. Also if you like more than one name then there's the option to have middle name(s). ---------- Post added 9th Jun 2016 at 12:05 AM ---------- None of the ones you've chosen flow very well, I guess Alexander Luke/Lukas or vice versa doesn't sound too bad.
What I've done on many occasions before settling on my name (Cayden) is I had my friends (online and irl) try calling me Devin (the name I wanted before). After a while I discovered that it was just boring and dreadful for me so I did it with Cayden and it just feels so comfortable and it sounds so much more like me. I recommend trying that.
Alex, Luke, and Nathan are all solid names. I would indeed avoid using a name like Remus or any name that sounds obviously made up. Imo, the goal for a name is to sound natural and like your parents could have given it to you. Idk how old you are but I am in my early twenties and those were all pretty common names when I was born, but not overused, except maybe Alex. That is very very common. I would also prefer a name that isn't too common, but still doesn't stand out too much.
I just googled a list of male names and went through the list, saying each of them out loud in my head. I soon settled upon Jake, however, I started to think it was too sharp for my personality. So I went to Jasper, then to Felix, and I'm now on Liam. It just fits my personality. This method did work for me, but it doesn't seem to work for you. What I would do is start using that name in your head. Maybe the mirror doesn't work, but try just calling yourself Nathan, Alex, ect. Just try to talk to yourself using 3rd person instead of 1st person.
Personally, I would take the name Remus seriously. I think it has an air of romance and mystery (if you see what I mean) but is still a name you could easily use as it's easy to spell and pronounce, and would be recognisable as a name to most people. I really like Lucien, but Alex and Nathan both sound a bit uninspiring to me. Nate is quite cool though. I think there's a website somewhere which you can use to test out a name, I think it puts your name into stories and stuff? Someone else might be able to fill in on this.
I cant find the awesome name database I used to look at. I like data. Thr Nametrix app has interesting data. For fun, Freakonomics podcast about names. How Much Does Your Name Matter? A New Freakonomics Radio Podcast - Freakonomics Freakonomics ---------- Post added 9th Jun 2016 at 05:59 PM ---------- Now I want to write to Freakonomics and suggest that they do a follow up on the names episode about trans people and other people who get to choose their own names.
To be honest, I just got out of school and having friends use different names would be sorta hard because I won't really see them and I feel like I'm annoying them by asking them? Thank you! I've had a lot of people say its not a "real name" and I really like it, but I'm not sure if I should use it because of that? I don't necessarily want people asking me if its my "real name" or whatnot. I also feel like I'll have that name that will automatically fit and I guess that's why I'm sort of iffy about just picking one. I really like this, thank you!! I think it could be helpful + it has some wild stories it comes up with which is entertaining at least.
Hey I'm by no means saying you shouldn't pick a name that you don't like. And in an ideal world, Remus would be an awesome name. I'm just saying that personally in the near future when I transition and hopefully pass, I don't want to draw attention to myself. In an ideal world I think Remus would be an awesome name, but in reality it sounds like you named yourself after a Harry Potter character, same reason I do't call myself "Lucius" even though I think it is a cool name. I intend to be stealth in the future so I like having a normal sounding name. If you don't care too much about that then feel free to have a cool name, and I do think it is admirable to be visible as trans, just not something I am comfortable with. ---------- Post added 10th Jun 2016 at 12:50 AM ---------- Saying you should*
I'm sorry if it sounded like I was attacking you/ that's totally not how I meant it to sound (I was almost totally asleep when I wrote that, so it didn't totally come out how I meant it?) And I get where your coming from, because that's why I'm iffy about that name! Because while I really like the name (like a lot), I'm not sure if I could deal with people asking me about it the whole time.
