Emma: day 59

This week has been a blur... A really good blur, but a blur nonetheless. I have barely been able to catch my breath, let alone get on EC to see what all my peeps are up to. I miss you (non-gender-specific) guys! (*hug*)

Today is Day 59 post-coming out as trans. That number both feels unbelievably, impossibly small and huge at the same time. So much has happened in the past 2 months. My "old life" feels like forever ago, honestly. As I sit here on my very comfy couch, in my living room, of my own apartment, having just done a couple of loads of laundry consisting of about 90% of blouses, cute shorts, a couple of skirts, bras, and panties - all which tells me that I'm pretty close to full-time, with the exception of court & client meetings which will have to wait until the name change is official. Wow, right?

I've made some great friends IRL through the Gender Identity Center in Denver, we've even got a Girls Day Out shopping trip for this Sunday planned. I've grown, broken, and regrown fingernails. Gone dancing, gotten hit on, and let my proverbial hair down... basically settling into who I am now. 2 words: yoga pants. :icon_wink

All my immediate family knows and is at least processing, if not supportive. I'm going to my sister's house for a long weekend on the 22nd and she's expecting Emma. How cool is that? All my close friends and many other friends know. I've lost count now, but best guess is >100. It's not FB official yet, but we're getting there.

T and I have regained our friendship for the most part, even as we are working towards divorce. The kids still don't know about me being trans, but we have a plan. We are letting them process the pending divorce for a bit; then will discuss my identity so they don't conflate the two. This will hopefully help decrease any negative emotions attached to the transition.

I've been on spiro for 17 days now. No real effects other than craving salt and my bladder has turned into the size of a walnut, but that's expected. Honestly, it's a little crazy how fast I got on spiro (trust me, I'm not complaining, just remarking) but I remember how pissed I was when the endo didn't put me on estradiol immediately. Despite my feelings sometimes that everything needs to happen NOW, I'm trying to keep perspective. I think about you guys in the UK who have to wait years just for an appointment. I tell myself, "patience, grasshopper. It's a transition not a race." That works for just about as long as you'd think it would, given my Type-A goal-oriented self. :icon_wink

At the end of each day, I'm happy. There's still a lot of work to be done, some of it really hard work, but I know that the path ahead is for the real me. No secrets anymore. We all have baggage, but damn if mine isn't a lot lighter these days.

Edit: this is also my 300th post, for what it's worth.

Happy Friday, everyone! Love to you all!
~Em