Do any other afab people feel like their breasts are fake? Like they're an accessory to what you're wearing but you can't take them off even though you don't like them?
Hey that's actually the best description I've ever heard. I kinda feel like I see myself with a complete flat chest but someone people just stare really long at the small bumps I don't even notice myself? And make me become aware it and become really annoying, like what are those doing there? So you have a good point about it feeling like an accesory you can't take off...
I am actually in the midst of working out my feelings to my breasts. It feels like I prefer treating a bra as something that makes me feel good when I can breathe in, and thus expanding my chest. So it is not in the way, I assume, how others feel a bra is - something to make your boobs look bigger/support your breasts.
I do feel like that at times. There are times when I'm busy doing something like homework or watching a movie and I kind of forget they are there. Like I know I have them, but I often time feel so flat cheated (baggy shirts help) that I often forget they are there till I look in the mirror and see them there. Then it's like "Oh, okay. So you're there" And seeing them usually makes me feel strange. Not depressed but more like the mirror I'm looking in as wrapped at chest height to make what is suppose to be there look like something else.
Sometimes my chest is just a nuisance; I don't want it, but it's there and is something I can fix one day. Most of the time, I can't think like that; it's big and female and I hate it so much.
I kinda get that feeling. I have a pretty small chest, so my brain basically processes it as if I were a cis dude who had a significant amount of fat on his chest (ya know, "moobs" ). The thing is, I don't weight anywhere near enough to justify that, so it's uncomfortable and weird and confusing. I think the closest I feel to what you described is when I have the feeling that I have a flat chest underneath my breasts, and I just can't take them off and get to it. Somehow they still kinda feel real and like they're part of me, but like they're not supposed to be part of me and that if I could somehow take them off, there'd still be my proper chest underneath.
Yeah, basically. Mine don't even look like they belong on me. Like...proportionately. It's like sticking a barbie sized Madonna cone bra on a snowman.
Yes, quite. I wish it were simply an accessory. Then I'd have taken them off long ago. But as it is, sometimes I can forget, sometimes they cause me tremendous discomfort. Usually it helps to bind if I'm feeling squeamish, though. In the end I just hate them, and seeing guys and their naturally flat chests make me very jealous. Like, if you ONLY knew what you had. Funny, because my little brother is terrified of "growing boobs" and refuses to use tea tree oil or consume soy products, as these (in excess) have been known to cause hormone imbalances leading to gynecomastia. Yeah, I know the feeling little bro.
AFAB = Assigned female at birth I never had that much of a problem with my chest. It's more my overall shape that bothered me, and the fact that I will never have proper muscle. Also I wanted to lower my voice so bad. This has led to a few unhealthy diets that damaged my voice (though I like it better now), but I didn't look any better.
It means 'assigned female at birth'. I only just worked it out too a few weeks ago sometimes I feel really angry at them like I want to just tear and slash them to pieces, sometimes it's just like I'm looking at someone else. But most of the time I just feel really uncomftable with my chest, like a pebble in my shoe, but also feeling slight anger and upsetness as well as feeling like it doesn't belong to me and that my chest should be different. For some reason I always think of them as some kind of lumps of playdough that have latched on to me, like I could just squish them on and rip them off. It feels like two parasites that slowly grow there roots into my chest and twist my soul until I scream into the wall. They're disgusting and they ruin my life, so I hate them.
Most of the time I'm fine with my chest now, in the privacy of my own home. However, I do feel uncomfortable not wearing my binder in public, yet at the same time I worry that I'm wearing my binder too much sometimes, even though it's only a few hours- just paranoia, really. My chest didn't develop that much during puberty- I'm only a 32B and my nipples are still close to their original size, so sometimes when I'm alone I just look at them and pretend I don't see the subtle curve- I'll press on the sides to make them look flatter, or sometimes just move my breast tissue (which has broken down significantly from wearing a binder for a year and a half) to the side and make myself look like some flat-chested freak with no nipples. XD Heh, the thing I struggle with the most is hip dysphoria- they're not far from their original size either, but the thing about hips is that they never stop expanding for either sex, so I know that as I get older I'll feel more uncomfortable with them- my shoulders are wide, but probably not wide enough where I'll always be a straight stick- eventually I might look like a "pear-shaped" person, and that terrifies me. Still, I try not to think about it- loving your body is a process, and you can't if you refuse to try, nor can you if you constantly dwell on what you hate- I plan to get chest surgery when I'm older. If there was some way to make my hips more closed in without crippling me, I'd also take that option.
I had a dream my boobs were made of rubber and I could take them off. But otherwise I just don't care. But I feel "I can't take it off, duh" about my appearance as a whole and how other see me, about this whole "persona", I don't know how it happened, that "persona".
