I can't handle running this trans support group

Okay so I honestly don't know what it's like to really be where you are since I've never really run a support group in my life. However a group has been foisted onto me, and I am still running it. It's not easy being a leader even if everyone tells you that you'd make a perfect leader or not.

So one of the first things I'm seeing is lack of disciple and set rule ups for engaging with other members. I'm not telling you to play mediator and start drama, but having a set of rules that everyone must respect and abide by so everyone can feel inclusive without the feel of persecution. Even EC has it's rules, this is a basic that has to be established and must be maintained. Rules are always up for tweaking as you go if it's absolutely necessary. This is only after my own personal experience with the group of 60+ people I manage and it's still an ever growing group and I have dealt with folks ranging from 12 to 60 years old. The only way those two are going to get along is if they follow basic rules. And regardless of age if someone breaks a rule they do need disciplined, it doesn't matter if you're 18 or 45, it sounds harsh and mean but if you mean what you say and follow through you can still keep your members but at the same time reduce drama. If they choose to leave because the of the rules meant to protect everyone, then it's their own choice.

Another thing I have is established moderators, but in your situation what you probably need is volunteers whom are willing to contribute to the group. Even if you end up being stuck scheduling a good thing you can do is try to make the tasks you wish another to take to appear small. For example I need a LOT of help running my group and need not only chat moderators but post moderators, judges, and member evaluation. Something I simply cannot do alone, so I separate the jobs, the ones who enjoy chatting whom I've personally observed to be level headed to be a chat mod since they are already there. And if drama arises I can be contacted to settle things if they cannot, this takes already a huge burden off my chest and means I don't need to watch the chats constantly to make sure folks are doing okay and that the group is active. But to translate this maybe instead of asking another person to lead try to find multiple folks to help you with small parts of the job to help YOU out so you can lead without the burden of "it's all on me."

I was really overwhelmed at first when my group suddenly lost it's leader and more or less everyone was at a loss because they just ran away and foisted duties to me. But I've learned over the course of the years how to better run this group. And people in real life need to work systematically as well.

If you can't handle being a leader then it's fine to say you can't, I would personally find someone from my own group and see if they're interested and try to make the job look fun and teach them about how the group works and how to do this job with as little stress to you. It's more or less grooming but it's more of a phase out and everyone can feel comfort in that method including yourself, use my above tips if you need to even.

Hopefully this is helpful because you really love this group but I can really see the stress it's putting on you. I really do hope things go well in the future!

 

I ran an in person transgender support group for 2 years. I was one of the founders. It can become very stressful. It's even more stressful when you are the only person really holding up the group. From the sounds of it, people may be willing to help more in smaller bits. I would try to delegate up some things and see if there are some people that would be willing to help you in smaller doses. This would help take some of the heat off of you at least.

I would also write up some ground rules for the group. A group really cannot function without basic written rules. You also have to remember that no matter what, you cannot please everybody. This is something that is really important to remember while running a group. There will be people that get mad, but that is on them.

The biggest thing that this group needs to realize is that it is a group effort. It is not a job that one person can do.

Also, please remember to take care of yourself. It is hard to run a group by yourself, so take some time as you need to in order to take care of yourself.