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"Regular" guys - how do we identify ourselves?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by duende84, Jun 16, 2016.

  1. duende84

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    "Regular" guys - how do we identify ourselves?

    Last weekend I was out with my straight friends at an airshow. Lots of beautiful manly guys there! Woof...!

    But the a thought occurred to me. How do we identify each other? Us "discreet, regular, manly" gay guys?

    Surly there must be guys like me at such an event. Gay guys that does regular guy stuff?

    :confused:
     
  2. Katchoo

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    [Tangent]
    Air show! I'm so jealous! My favorite thing ever was getting to see the Blue Angels. Woot! So cool!
    [/Tangent]
     
  3. smurf

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    Sure, but what is regular guy stuff? Because if you ask a plumber who works with his hands and then ask a manager of a bank, regular guy stuff is going to be different.

    What do you think other gay guys do? What are the unregular man stuff?

    When you try to start answering those questions with specifics, you'll notice that boxing "stuff" becomes more complicated than you think. To some people you might be a masculine guy, while to some other people you are just another preppy boy.

    Usually, "discreet, regular, manly" gay guys such as yourself will have a harder time finding each other because you guys don't like to be part of the visible mainstream community. You guys won't show up at LGBT rallies, probably won't donate to LGBT community centers, and probably won't publicly ask for changes in policies. Doing so might be too showy. Too gay. Too public.

    The masculine guys who show up, won't try to distance themselves from the other more feminine guys. Because 1) they don't need to 2) they understand that everyone is just a regular gay guy, they just happen to be more masculine than some people.

    So you aren't a "regular" gay guy. You just so happen to be more masculine and you don't want too many people knowing that you are gay.

    There is no label because if you had one it would mean you would have to use it in public, which would then make you a visible, proud gay man :grin:
     
  4. awesomeyodais

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    I'm guessing that in the OP "identify" doesn't mean "how do we label/advertise ourselves" but possibly "how do you spot the other gay guys at these events, in the absence of more obvious signs"...

    I would say firstly remember they're out there, they're pretty much everywhere - try to notice things like their eyes and if they react differently when a girl or a guy walks by... (keeping in mind some are attracted to both so don't think it's an either/or answer).
     
  5. Miaplacidus

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    I've experienced this problem. People are usually very surprised when I tell them that I like guys. I had a phase when I was 17-18 when I was very obvious but then I realised that it wasn't me and reverted to my usual self.

    The only thing that could "identify" me in public unless I talked about it, is probably the fact that I look at other guys for longer than "normal." (I'm taken, but not blind... haha)
     
  6. pinkclare

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    I was just bemoaning this fact last night, feeling a bit sad after my boyfriend insisted that I pass for straight. Unfortunately, while there are dozens of articles and discussions online about lesbian femme invisibility, I couldn't find a thing on gay male masc invisibility. Perhaps because there are still so many gay guys who LIKE being able to pass as straight due to a dear of the feminine?

    Anyway, I don't have an answer for you, but I wish I did! I want nothing more than to know that other fags can pick me out of a crowd.