Does anyone else....

I used to a lot, so much that I ended up backing away, even if it was for something I needed. Now I still get a bit of a racing heart, depending on what it is, but it's very rare for me to walk away. Mostly, the only thing I still want to walk away from is getting pads (when I absolutely need to because there's none in the house), which I've done ever since these damn periods started.

 

I've rarely been to shoe stores but I am in general really shy in front of girls and yeah I do feel I don't belong. I always think they think I'm watching them . Like I'm being judgemental. It's worst at pools or when I'm going for a walk. I used to try looking straight forward but I keep my eyes start burning a little 'cause I unknowingly keep them open for too long. Now I just look down to make myself look cranky. Make any sense?

 

Yeah I feel nervous doing any clothes shopping. Shoe shopping is my least anxious seeing as I've worn 'boys' shoes since I was a kid cause I always preferred them. I only really get nervous if there are a bunch of young guys or really stereotypically chavvy people near. I just don't make eye contact and quickly breeze round the shelves and pick some though.

 

Yeppp. Always have been and I've been wearing men's clothes pretty much exclusively since I was 15. (And I'm just as uncomfortable in the women's section.) It's okay if I know exactly what I want, but I get super nervous just browsing if someone else is there. I don't even know why. No one gives a shit. And I'm not embarrassed WEARING guys clothes, so why would I be embarrassed buying it? Where do they think I get the stuff I'm wearing now?

 

Just the other day I was looking at shirts in a sports store and there was this super masculine man standing next to me looking a shirts and I almost just walked away, but I made it through by not making eye-contact -_- But me being awkward while shopping is nothing new because I get self-conscious about literally everything I buy. Example: I really like bananas, so I buy usually like 3 bunches of bananas, so I always feel like the cashier is judging me for buying too many -_-

And yeah same as above, I don't feel self-conscious wearing mens clothes any more than I do in general, and I'd say I feel more self-conscious in women's clothes.

 

I remember waiting until like 3am one time to go to a 24-hour store to buy a bra. Then later I got bolder and went during the day but only after driving to a neighboring town. Then I just started online shopping. It wasn't until I moved to Japan that I felt truly comfortable going into something like an H&M and buying a blouse or a dress in person. Or over the knee socks. Or make up, for that matter.

 

When I feel awkward in the men's section sometimes I think about how it would be even more awkward if I was a transgirl shopping for women's clothes. >.< at least I sometimes see cis women in the men'ssection too, whether they are shopping for their boyfriend or just like men's T shirts. So I feel ya. Glad it is better for you now though.

 

Thanks! Isn't it strange? There are these zones full of cloth cut a certain way to say certain things about us or communicate our identities!

 

I used to get that to the point where Id just order most of my stuff online, now I don't get it at all. I think growing facial hair has helped me a lot, even though I've been dressing as a male since age 2, and had no issue shopping in the boys clothing when I was little.

I think in part its that fear of people bringing attention to you or embarrassing you in front of friends or family. I went through a two month phase where I tried to dress girly, and surprisingly people questioned it a lot more, which started to increase paranoia. Now I go out a lot with my exboyfriend and he's very flamboyant so people just default us as gay boys so a little feminine looking, now I get more gay slurs than gender bending slurs lol. I think social comfort will come in time for you when you get to a point of physical comfort.

 

I don't get anxious in department stores, although sometimes I notice the people working at the change rooms give a long glance at the clothing that I have. (Usually all boys/mens). I've been explicitly told to use the female change room too, even though I always do anyway...

I do get a bit anxious sometimes if I'm clothes shopping in a store that -only- has guys clothes and I try a heap of things on, although I think the people selling the items usually don't care.

 

I have that I can wear whatever I want attitude so I don't care at all. Besides I don't judge people much so they do the same with me. The only thing that can make me frustrated in the men's department, and even triggers my dysphoria sometimes, is that my feet is rather small and I can't find shoes that would fit me easily.

 

I don't buy shoes that often, but I do still get anxiety shopping in the men's department of clothing stores. It's gotten better but I used to be super anxious doing so. I never get read as anything other than female so I always felt insecure about being in the men's department. However I began to realise that most of the time I was judging myself way more than other people were judging me.

Sometimes people give you a glance or two, but most of the time people are there doing their own thing and they don't really bat an eye at who you are and what you're doing. People of all genders frequent all parts of clothing stores all the time - sometimes they aren't even shopping for themselves. It's quite common really. Now, I just mind my own business, try to act like I totally belong there (and I do.), and nothing really goes wrong.

 

I usually feel alright shopping in the women's section myself. As soon as I need to try things on though I start internally freaking out. I feel really weird about the change rooms. I'm not sure exactly what it is about changing rooms, I guess I feel judged?

Now a place like La Senza I feel uncomfortable the moment I walk in. I really feel like I don't belong there. I've always had really nice ladies help me out when I go in, it's just unnerving in there I guess? Shoe shopping is kind of the same thing for me. Just really anxious the whole time. It's hard to find big enough shoes in a women's size. Just not a good time.

 

I used to when I first came out. Eventually it just becomes a pretty mundane process- and I'm really not at the point in my life where I pass 100%. And it helps I fit much better (size and body type) in men's clothing, shoes, etc than I ever did in women's department shit.

But in general, it depends on the vibe of the place, you know? Like, I'll avoid using a public bathroom if I'm in a place I know is pretty transphobic. I'll get away with using an airport bathroom in Missouri but I won't attempt the biker bar where the T word's thrown around like water, you know? But I've kinda just gotten to the point where I don't give a shit. And I know not everyone will feel comfortable with doing that but it's a testament to how laid back men's bathrooms and spaces are that other guys don't give a shit if I'm walking in, even if I'm literally sliding an STP out of my pocket once I'm at a urinal.

 

Not anymore.

I do get jealous looks like "that bitch" when I buy expensive boots or something.

I have no problems walking into a changing room or bathroom anymore.