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I have no friends who knows my secret

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by ShaeShay, Jun 19, 2016.

  1. ShaeShay

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Washington
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I had always had difficulty developing friendships because of my social anxiety. I still don't have any friends - well, I do, kind of, but they're all older than me. None of them knows that I feel trapped in a woman's body, and when I'm ready to come out to them, I don't know if they're going to be understanding and accepting. I know one that seems tolerate to the LGBT community, though. Also, I don't have a therapist who specializes with transgender; there aren't where I live.
     
  2. AmyBee

    Full Member

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    That's really difficult. Are they vocally phobic? Could you kind of "poll" the more tolerant person to see how accepting they really are and if they're receptive and you feel you want to, come out to that person as a starter? It might be a relief. But you have to balance the isolation that comes from keeping a secret versus the isolation that might come from being rejected. The other thing is... well, places like this are a good outlet. That's why I'm here. You can interact in a pretty safe space and ease into friendships at the speed your anxiety allows. Anyway, wishing you all the best in your journeys!
     
  3. ShaeShay

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Washington
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    A few people
    They're not vocally phobic; they seem nice.
     
  4. YeahpIdk

    Regular Member

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    Maybe one of the advisors here can help you find something in your area, like a hotline, group, or therapist that you could go to for support apart from others until you feel more comfortable to come out to people in your life.

    I would gauge the thoughts of your friend who seems LGBTQ friendly by talking about some transgender issues in the news. Their response should let you know how accepting they are. I don't know how old you are, but it is also sometimes a good idea to wait until you're in a place where you're safe to come out. If you're in high school and not in an accepting place, for example, you may want to wait a little. I'm not discouraging you to come out, you're perfectly lovely and great, but some people are a-holes, and I would just want you to be safe!

    In the mean time, stick around here. It's a great place to figure things out and build a community, even if we're not present in your life, it's still a presence! :slight_smile: Feel better, you came to the right place to talk out whatever you need to.