I find myself with conflicted thoughts when it comes to thinking about my own gender. But is it because of how I view what the definition of a girl is based on stereotypes or is it because I actually feel like I'm not that gender? We are raised in a world where one gender fits this box and another fits that box. But really, can't you fit the characteristics and stereotypes of the box opposite of your gender and still be that gender? I think so. What is really meant when we say gender identity? It's how you identify yourself, but I'm not so clear on in what way. Biologically, I'm a girl. So that's what my label is. But I'm not too found of labels anyways. In my head, I'm just a person. I don't fit the girl stereotype (nor would I ever want to!) and I don't feel I fit in with the boys either (although I may dress in mens clothes and act like one according to stereotypes). I have had conflicting thoughts though, that still may stem from built in stereotypes in my head. For example, I've always thought it would be amazing to be called dad one day (I actually think I would cry tears of joy to hear a son/daughter of mine call me daddy for the first time, I don't think I'd have quite as strong a reaction to mom). Throughout childhood, I insisted on being the boy or dad in pretend. I'd dress the part too. On the other side I'm definitely a feminist and have said for years I'm gonna be the first person (not women) on Mars because that way a man would have to be second. When I accidentally get called sir, I don't like it. Or when i get double takes in a public restroom, I hate it, I think to myself "I'm a freaking girl, lady. Yes i'm in the right restroom.":dry: I'm not necessarily seeking a label for myself, although I am curious your guy's thoughts on that. I'd probably rather just be labeled a person not a girl or boy, but that's not really the way the world works right now. I'm more interesting in your thoughts on the difference between stereotypes and gender identity and biological gender. Do stereotypes play a role in what we identify ourselves as? Does the gender you identify as also fit the stereotypically gender you would fall under? etc.
Gender identity and gender expression isn't the same thing. If you act as a boy, you can still identify as a girl and the other way. But there is something in between those 2, that's where I am located. I act girly, love cute stuff, giggle, stuff like that, but I don't identify as a girl. I dress up in boys clothing and I'm planning to cut my hair real short. That doesn't make me a boy. Although I do enjoy using the pronouns "he/him" because I feel more comfortable with them, that still doesn't make me a boy. I don't know how a genderless person is supposed to act cx It's your choice if you want to put a label on yourself or not, but I can't decide it for you because I don't think the way you act/dress defines your gender. I wish you good luck! ^^
I think most people see themselves as a person before a gender, especially true for people that haven't struggled with gender identity, there isn't much of a "gender feeling" (for lack of a better term) there. Gender stereotypes and gender identity are separate things. For some people they match well, but they also often don't fit perfectly. Gender identity is also a bit more than just a label to identify yourself, it is an inherent feature in a person. For example I'm a trans guy, but I'm not super macho or anything like that, and gender roles have nothing to do with why I'm transitioning. I feel like I probably have a mix of stereotypical characteristics of both gender, but I am still a guy deep down, nothing to do with gender roles, more to do with dysphoria and a deeper sense of identity. I'm not sure if this makes much sense or answers your question?
Personally, I'd rather be labeled a person than a boy or a girl, but I don't really get the luxury of not caring about my gender. I have to label myself as a boy because it causes me too much dysphoria to try to force myself to be anything else. Ideally, gender wouldn't be a big deal, I could transition physically and it would be an entirely personal thing (right now, if I take T it's a big social ordeal where suddenly I will be a man in the eyes of other people instead of a woman; if we did away with social gender stuff, I could transition and it wouldn't be any more of a big deal than any other change to my appearance, like getting a mole removed or getting a tattoo), and no one would have to be forced into arbitrary social categories. But for now, that's not an option. Stereotypes are bullshit and are not how gender is defined. Lots of people don't conform to stereotypes. Personally, I am stereotypically male in some ways, but also don't conform to a lot of male stereotypes. I am not nearly as "manly" as men are expected to be, I wear dresses sometimes, I knit, I hate playing sports, I like cooking and sewing and children, etc. If I'd been born male, I'd be a pretty feminine guy, and I'd probably question my gender because I didn't fit into the role I was assigned, and I probably wouldn't have a strong sense of a "feeling" of gender (because most cis people don't). (I know you said you weren't looking for a label for yourself, but I am better at concrete examples than abstract ideas) The fact that you think to yourself, "I'm a freaking girl, lady. Yes i'm in the right restroom" tells me you're probably a girl, even if you don't conform to stereotypes (although feel free to ignore this if I'm misinterpreting). That sort of feeling displays an internal sense of gender more than whether of not you fit stereotypes. Btw, masc girls can be called "dad" and "boyfriend" and all those male terms and personally I love it.
