I'm going to be leading a school club with an acquaintance (let's call them Ollie) next year, and they're agender and present as such. The deal is, I'm wanting to present more masculine and tell people, "yo, I'm not a girl", at least within the club because it's a very accepting space. I'm afraid people will think I'm copying Ollie. My plan is to be kind of ambiguous about my gender, since I'm not ready to come out as anything specific yet, and my worry is that people will see me and say, "hmm, Ollie did it first" and think I'm copying. It wouldn't be *that* big of a deal if I were to just present masculine, but the way I want to present is really similar to the way Ollie does, even down to the hairstyle. It makes me feel bad because Ollie did do it first... They aren't one to hold gender identity against anyone, but I don't think they really like me all that much to start with and this might just make them dislike me more. Do you think people would interpret this as me copying Ollie? I just feel insecure about gender to start with, and that paired with the similarity between how I want to look and the way Ollie looks, as well as my usual anxiety issues, makes a very worrying situation.
As long as Ollie knows and is supportive of your gender and your wish to not come out about everything so quickly, it won't matter so much what people think. If they comment and think you're copying, it'll die down after a little bit. They'll find something new to talk about. Or maybe they'll just think you two are close and (or even because ) you have similar styles and interests. I hope this helps.
