"I am trans." Why is it so hard to say the words out load to another person. There are a few people I have been wanting to tell and I will open my mouth and nothing comes out Even to people that I have already told just saying "trans" is like pulling teeth. Every time I have to force it out and its like Im choking on it. I can talk about my transition but the word itself. Also I hate these mood swings about it. Wake up in the morning and feel happy and excited about the way things are progressing asking friends to help my find the right name. Then sitting down at night and feel unsure all over again. Maybe once I start T all this night time over thinking will stop.
I can tell people everything about my transition - we can talk about hormones, gender therapy, surgeries, anything. Except the word. I can't say I'm transgender out loud. Everyone knows, but I can't say it. I say I'm a boy, a guy, anything else. But not that I'm trans. And it's not because it's hard to tell people, it's because I don't want to be transgender. I wish I'd been born a guy and I very much look forward to the day I pass well enough to pretend I was always a guy on the outside. I know passing shouldn't really be the goal compared to living as yourself, but I can't help it. My brain calls bullshit and that is what I need. I hope starting T helps it stop for you. For us both.
Same here, bro. Whenever I talk to people about being trans it usually has to happen through texts and Facebook messages
I used to choke on those words because(In fact to speak to my therapist and counselor I used a pen and paper), for one trans never felt right. I wanted to say I am female.. but trust me it's a wall we all face, eventually you build the confidence. Thats also why those videos on youtube are so powerful... people underestimate the emotions those words bring you.
I cant tell you how good it is to hear these things. To know Im not the only person out there to feel this way. Thank you all!! I appreciate you! I wish you all the best of luck.
Damn, I should have had this problem. Am I not really trans-- a girl or a herm or a boy-herm or whatever in a man's body-- if I can just jump to telling people "the status" without the difficulty in calling it that way?
I've never said "I am trans" either. A lot of people don't take me serious because I haven't told them about the professional label for what I'm going through. I guess it's still a matter of trying to accept yourself, and you'll get there one day.
I said that out loud. Once. It feels like a punch on anime. Suspense. Time slows down. And it strikes abruptly and cuts through flesh and bone. Transgender. Blood gushes like a fountain.
Yeppp this is me. I've come out personally to about four people now (six know), and I only used the word trans one time. And that was only because he was talking about another trans person and I jumped on the opportunity to tell someone at my new job. I hardly know him so it didnt seem so critical. Every other person I've avoided that word at all cost. I've found myself saying things like "I'm having a gender crisis," and then letting them figure out what that means as they ask for more details. Or I'll ty to bring it up casually like I'm talking about my plans for the summer. I'll say like "by the way, I've been seeing a gender therapist. Soon I will be changing my name and pronouns and starting testosterone by the end of the year." Actually calling myself trans feels so dramatic. Even when talking to my therapist I have no problem talking about hormones and surgery but when she says the word trans I almost tear up a little.
