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How do you know when a name "clicks"?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by BanditWings, Jun 25, 2016.

  1. BanditWings

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    Hiya~
    After my realisation that I was more a girl than a boy, I rapidly began researching names leading to my current dilemma. How do you know if a name's right for you? If it means anything, the name that I'm wondering about is Robin.
    Also, what are the pros and cons to changing your last name? The first name I'm considering doesn't really fit with my current last name and plus I want to be sneaky just in case so I'm considering changing it to Vesper (Latin for evening, the word for bat derives from it and I want to have a reference to Batman and Robin).

    tl;dr: I'm considering changing my name to Robin Vesper but I'm not sure if it will click. How do you know if a name's right for you?
     
    #1 BanditWings, Jun 25, 2016
    Last edited: Jun 25, 2016
  2. Invidia

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    First, if we like it. Second, time is a major factor. It can take a while getting used to it. Right now, I've been going by Rebecca for a good while, and my old male name feels distant when said to me. I'm thinking that I want to maybe have Rebecca as a middle name though, with Arabella (or Ara for short) as my first name. Getting used to that would take a while I guess, but... : ) I mean it's worth it to have a name you like.
     
  3. Hawk

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    I've tried a ton of names, seeing which would fit. All I can really say is you'll know when you found "the one". I personally tried names I liked, name that were similar, and asked people here what they thought.

    If you're not sure about a name, ask a friend you feel comfortable enough telling and try it out. If you don't want to do that/or can't do that, you can try RPs online, or play video games like The Sims or Pokemon where you can choose your name.

    I personally think hearing and/or seeing it helps to associate you to your name.
     
  4. What If

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    I have been trying to find a name for a while. I just decided on Jude but Im still not sure if thats the one. Having close friends use it to test it out is a great idea! Thanks, thats helpful.
     
  5. Alder

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    I think it takes time to see if a name 'clicks.' Sometimes you have to go through a few to find one that feels right over time. You do have to like it; when I first thought of using Jake, I immediately felt like it would be a name I like (even just hearing it). But what was important was that when I began to test out using it, it would feel comfortable and right over the long term. It may take time to get used to though, since we have spent our life up to this point being called a different name.

    It's not so much as clicking as it is sliding into place, at least that was the case for me. You can test out your name in various places (even on here), whether it be on RPGs, websites which help you test your name, or signing up for different accounts. Over time you will get an idea of whether or not the name is right for you.

    I never considered changing my last name, so I don't know practically how it would work. However I know that some trans people don't change their last name, they simply choose two names to add in front of their last name and replace the name they were given at birth (in some cases, this is changing their middle name as well as their first)

    (E.g., if someone was named Elizabeth Wilson at birth, they might change it to Lucas Miles Wilson, and ask people to use Lucas Miles, whilst still keeping the last name).

    I know you want to be careful and that's part of the reason why you want to change your last name, but this could be a (temporary) option if you encounter trouble changing your last name, though I'm sure you can. I'm just not sure how to go about it :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: Good luck though!
     
    #5 Alder, Jun 26, 2016
    Last edited: Jun 26, 2016
  6. E H Wildflower

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    Sometimes it takes some experimentation to find a good name for yourself, or you might get lucky and something just grabs you by the shoulders and says, 'here I am'. For some people (like me), it might even be a little of both.

    I would agree that the best way to be sure is to try it out. In addition to asking your friends to call you Robin and using that name online, you might try ordering food at a place where they ask for a name for your order (assuming you don't know the cashier, of course) and/or writing notes to fictional people and signing them with the name that you're considering, just to see how it feels to write it.

    One of the things that made my name "click" for me was that it just felt good to write it and I like the look of it on paper.
     
    #6 E H Wildflower, Jun 26, 2016
    Last edited: Jun 26, 2016
  7. AmyBee

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    My name just came to me but I wrestled with a middle name for a while. At one point I changed my first name to a variation on my given name that also happened to be a family nickname for me. But I wasn't all that thrilled with it.

    Then my mom out of the blue blurted what she would have named me if I'd been AFAB. Suddenly both my names just clicked, my original choice and the middle name. I knew that was ME instantly.
     
  8. Rickystarr

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    Idk about all that, but I LOVE the name Robin. Totally use it.
     
  9. BanditWings

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    Thank y'all so much for the replies! I'm trying out all of these strategies. This is why EC is so amazing- whenever I have a dilemma I have plenty of help within a day.
     
  10. Hint

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    Does this same apply if you want you change your name for non-gender reasons?
    'want' may be a bit of a weak word here, but regardless, I need my first name changed for both gender and personal reasons, and the last name changed for just the personal reasons...