Some background on me first. I'm 22, bisexual and I'm pretty sure female. But I have "chest dysphoria" I've seen some people cal it. I HATE my breasts. I don't like the way they look and they make me feel wrong on basically every level. I want a flat chest like a man I've felt this way since my boobs started growing at like 12. I felt the first little breast buds and ran to my dad crying because I couldn't stand them and wanted them off of me. Well it's pretty much only gotten worse since then. I have HUGE boobs now. Like they are seriously well above normal and looking at them and feeling them all the time in basically every facet of my every day life is kind of psychological anguish. The worst part of this is that I'm always noticed and approached sexually (by men and women) because of them. While I was at the beach with friends recently we went to a club and a girl asked me to dance and we sort of hit it off and then later while she and I and one of my friends were walking on the beach she told my friend that she had approached me almost 100% because she thought I had amazing tits and when he told me I just sort of broke down. I mean that would be a compliment to most women I'm sure but to me it was like a knife into my soul, because the part of me I hate the most is the part that everyone else loves or is envious towards. When things like this happen it makes me feel like I'm selfish for wanting them removed or a bad person and I usually always return to the thought "it would just be better if I was born a guy" or even worse (and I really hope you guys don't hate me for this) that I wish I was actually transgender so I could be a man, even in a girls body, because that would make more sense to me. But I actually like being a girl and dressing moderately feminine and having a vagina. But I just want a mans chest also. I just don't know what I am. Has anyone else gone through the same thing or a similar thing? Sorry for the wall of text. Thanks for reading
Okay, I was AMAB, but here's the thing. When I hit puberty, I got breasts. Not big. But I had the budding and my chest formed these kind of pointy small breasts that made me NEVER want to take off my shirt at the pool, the beach and certainly not in gym class. They are still there. I've had a love/hate relationship with them that has now blossomed into love. HOWEVER... I have cisgender AFAB friends who feel very similarly to how you feel about their own breasts. No one seems to be happy with them. I think a lot of my friends have chest dysphoria to some degree. I don't think it's as harsh as your feelings, but you're not alone in feeling something about them.
Okay, I was AMAB, but here's the thing. When I hit puberty, I got breasts. Not big. But I had the budding and my chest formed these kind of pointy small breasts that made me NEVER want to take off my shirt at the pool, the beach and certainly not in gym class. They are still there. I've had a love/hate relationship with them that has now blossomed into love. HOWEVER... I have cisgender AFAB friends who feel very similarly to how you feel about their own breasts. No one seems to be happy with them. I think a lot of my friends have chest dysphoria to some degree. I don't think it's as harsh as your feelings, but you're not alone in feeling something about them.
I experienced a similar reaction when I went through puberty. The idea of boobs or having really big boobs seemed so wrong to me. I never thought I wanted a flat chest like a man, I just didn't want them to grow. When they did, I didn't like them. I hated having to wear a bra, it was so uncomfortable. I hated that I could feel them every time I went up and down stairs or ran. I'd wear baggy clothes just so they were less obvious to other people. It wasn't until late teens/early twenties I became comfortable with them. I still have a love-hate relationship with bras, but I'm okay with my boobs. I think how I came to being ok with my chest was just learning to love my body even the faults. Also embracing parts of me that are more physically feminine. From what you described, your dislike of your chest seems extreme. Is it just your chest that bugs you? Any other aspects that generally go along with being female? I'm not trans or gender fluid so I can't give you a perspective on that. (I'm sure someone can though) If you think it'd make you feel comfortable you could always get breast reduction surgery. I highly suggest talking to a professional therapist or someone and really thinking things through before you make a drastic decision like that.
I might have the opposite issue, to a lesser extent. I'm male and generally comfortable being male, though I've questioned that recently. Yet I feel like I always wished I had breasts and felt a bit jealous of girls who were particularly well-endowed in that area. I never had any problem with my genitals, and the only issues with my gender identity are how I dislike having to fill a stereotypical male gender role / get seen by women as a threat because of my gender. I also identify primarily with male characters in fiction.
I'd give you my boobs if I could, derpasaurus. Thanks for the replies. I honestly would consider a breast reduction and would definitely be considered medically eligible for the surgery just on the principle of the general back pain caused by my breasts, but honestly I don't think that would be enough. Also if anyone knows of some good therapists in Alabama that would be awesome and I'd love to talk to someone but where I'm from isn't exactly an accepting place. Also, to respond to your questions, PrettyinPunk, I'm not entirely happy with how my body stores fat and things as in I don't particularly like my hips to be super wide. But really it doesn't bother me especially when I'm in shape. It really is mostly limited to my chest. But past physically I really don't like being treated like a girl where I'm from. The south still has a lot of stereotypes about women that kinda piss me off and get very annoying. But that's a separate issue that isn't really related to how I personally feel about my body. I also like boobs and a womanly shape on women I'm with. Just not on me.
Oh no, I'm sorry, I didn't realized you lived in Alabama. (Not to bash, there are good things about the state) I can't recommend one but definitely make sure you find a trustworthy and accepting therapist. I know what you mean about that old south vibe towards women. You can find that in some places in my state too. That's one reason I could never live in those places. People with those stereotypes would hate me for sure. I feel ya on the fat stroring issue. I tend to store fat in my hips, boobs, and thighs, places both women and men seem to find as a good thing. I however don't appreciate. I have heard of some very masculine presenting women (straight, bi, lesbian) who identify as cis female who also hate their boobs. Some wear binders but beyond that I don't really know. Sorry I can't offer more help.:icon_sad:
Thanks for the offer, but considering guys aren't generally expected to have those I expect I'd get a lot of weird looks and odd questions from people and it would get kind of awkward and annoying.
