So, I had a very vivid dream last night; I woke up in a hospital and I looked down at my chest to find I had gotten top surgery, and I sat there for quite a while freaking out because I could not remember how I got here or why the heck I had gotten top surgery so suddenly. A doctor guy appears out of nowhere and I start asking him why this happened, and he told me I had asked my mum to get me top surgery (what??). Of course I did not remember asking at all, and I got even more freaked out. At the same time I felt amazing because the dream was so vivid and I actually felt like I had a flat chest. Then the dream got kinda weird, and I got sick. The doctor guy tells me that he has to take me to the hospital.. even though we are already in the hospital. Quickly this turned to a weird anxiety dream, set in the best place for anxiety dreams, my school. I go to an all girls school so I already have a lot of problems since I can't be perceived as male (unless I come out as trans and get permission to wear trousers, but even then I am still pretty uncertain about being trans since I haven't explored it as much as I would have liked). For whatever reason in the dream I started getting bullied for being trans, even though I know for a fact that it would probably never happen since so far, surprisingly, everyone is pretty accepting of the lgbt+ community in my school. I can't remember much else but I felt like I needed to say something about it since this is kinda a big breakthrough for figuring out if I am trans or not, and in terms of transitioning I now know I want top surgery. And if not top surgery I would like to have a binder.
I notice ftm have more vivid trans feelings, then mtf... But anyhow I have had tons of dreams like this, it may be something to look into with a therapist. One last thing, don't treat it as some big break through being trans is way diff than any dream, and you should again explore those options with a therapist.
I am thinking about seeing a therapist, and I ain't gonna go rushing in to thinking I am trans because of a dream. But I am very uncomfortable with my chest in general, so I guess a dream like this was bound to happen weather I am trans or not.
I've definitely had dreams like that. I had a dream about getting top surgery not that long ago and actually had a dream about going to get bottom surgery just a couple days ago. Dreams are better indicators of what you're thinking about than what you actually feel/want, but if you really liked the feeling of having a flat chest and continue to want that when you're awake, it's pretty compelling evidence that top surgery might be right for you some day (or at least binding), regardless of your gender.
