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Gender Questioning, Fluid? Queer? Androgynous/Androgyne?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Kj802, Jul 7, 2016.

  1. Kj802

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    Hey,
    So I posted this previously in the wrong thread section do I'm reposting it here, because I didn't recieve many replies.

    Okay, so I recently came out to my parents and have lost count as to how many friends I am out too. My parents, been religious, seem to have taken it fairly well. Although they appear to be trying to ignore it.
    Anyway, the past couple of weeks I have been thinking, that maybe I am Genderqueer/Fluid/Androgynous. I have a desire to wear makeup, I hate having body hair. I also desire to own and wear heels, (I can actually rock them tbh) and even to wear traditionally women's clothing. eg Skirts, Even dresses. Now compared to other men I probably am more androgynous but not obviously so.
    However, I do not consider myself Trans, and I don't wish to transition.
    Now I know that most people here don't like to assume and assign labels to others. I now give you express and explicit permission to do so, because I need someone else's opinion. What does this look like to you? What label or combination of labels do you think appears to fit me?
    Lastly, I know labels aren't everything, but within my situation and community, labels help not only me but others I tell, define how I work. I only use them for the sake of understanding and coherence.

    Now according to a reply I received on the other thread, this sounds like cross-dressing. But that doesn't sound or feel right for me. It's not just about wearing dresses. Idk It's had to explain.

    Thanks,
     
  2. Kj802

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    Just Pushing this up. :slight_smile:
     
  3. Sasu

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    I'd say if you feel partly male and partly female, or even something between the two, bigender could fit for you and so could androgyne. If your gender fluctuates then you could also use genderfluid, though I think most people assume genderfluid to mean fluctuation between male, female, both and neither so it might be clearer using bigender or androgyne unless you feel that genderfluid fits you better.

    Just a note, I'm obviously not saying you're definitely one of these labels or that you are limited to them, just giving a few suggestions but there might be other possibilities.
     
  4. Kj802

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    Okay thank you. That's the kind of thing I needed to hear.
    And Yea I completely understand.

    I did read up on bigender. From what I read it meant someone who identified as both male and female. In the way it was written it came across as like been entirely both. But it makes more sense to say that I'm somewhere in the middle.
    As I previously stated, I am more androgynous than other guys. But it isn't something you pick up when you see me. What I mean is if you did see me you wouldn't immediently think that I look androgynous. But I think either or both fit to some degree. I'll have to think about it, see which one fits best.
    But thank you. You really helped! XD
     
  5. GenderSciFi

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    Is genderqueer to vague for you? Because it's a term that so much encourages trying things out, messing around with appearance and identify however you want to :eusa_danc
    Fluid only seems to apply if your gender identity or expression fluctuates over time, and you haven't said anything about that, so...?
    There's also demigirl and demiboy, but that would be accurate if maybe you had a stronger leaning towards male or female...

    Helping people pick labels is fun! :icon_wink like shopping but without all the nuisance.
     
  6. Kj802

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    Hahahaha. I'm glad this is enjoyable. XD
    Genderqueer was what I was initially thinking. But personally, it feels almost too broad. I'm naturally indecisive, bear with here, for instance if I get asked a general question I always ask for parameters cause generalisation is hard within that context. So in a similar sense I struggle with a label that is so broad. For the same reason I would personally never say that i'm queer, with regards to my sexuality, I would feel like all I'm saying is 'I'm not straight but you can figure out the rest.'
    But as you mentioned, it's probably a good term to use while I play around with expression and identity, eventually coming to a fixed label that suits me best. :slight_smile:
     
  7. Foxfeather

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    Own it. And don't worry about the stares. Ladies like me love guys like you. No, I don't find it sexually attractive, but if there's something I like to see in a world where everyone is closeted is bravery.
     
  8. Althidon

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    See, I love the "I'm not straight/cis but no more specific than that" labels. I personally identify as pansexual, but I also love the word "queer" because it just means "I'm not hetero and the rest is my business". It shouldn't matter to you what my specific attractions are unless I'm expressing attraction to you.

    Genderqueer, to me, is sorta the same way. It's like saying "I'm not a binary gender, don't put me in a box, I'll express myself the way I want." It's especially valuable in a situation where no other label fits quite right.
     
  9. Kj802

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    I sure will try Foxfeather. And that's the thing I don't do it to be sexually appealing I do it cause it makes me happy.

    Yea I understand that Althidon, and generally speaking I think as a society we are slowly moving toward a label free world. But personally, at this stage the label helps me indentify myself. If that makes sense. The label is more for me than anything else. I personally prefer specificity and I can't help that, just like I can't help been gay. I guess it's just my preference. Put it this way. The labels help me but I never assume labels on anyone else and I don't push labels onto anyone else.

    ---------- Post added 9th Jul 2016 at 01:36 PM ----------

    And just as an update. Androgyne seems to be he most appropriate for me at the moment. Bigender to some degree implies being two genders as the same time or fluctuating between two, and not necessarily binary genders either. And I don't feel like two genders. I feel like a consistent mesh of the binary genders which feels more androgynous. So at the moment I'm leaning towards Androgyne.
    And thank you everyone for your help so far. It is much appreciated.