I'm born a male, and I just want to be a guy again- without having bigender thoughts of wanting to become a woman. Ever since my sex drive started peaking in my early 20s, my femininity began increasing from close to nil to something substantial. But...I'm tired of the effect that has had on my life. I just want to be a straight guy...so I can function in society without this constant gender fluctuation. This gender fluctuation has caused me interference in my functioning: my ability to even hold down a dang job. I don't have enough femininity to want to be a woman... I don't think. And I have loved wearing gorgeous dresses, dressing like a girl, looking like a girl. It's been a lot of fun. But I really want it to stop now: I want a gender I can just feel comfort in. And since transitioning to become a woman seems like SUCH an ordeal, for results I'm not even sure I'd want: I just want to be a man.
Gender expression (masculinity and femininity) is not the same as gender identity (male and female and non-binary). Is the transitioning uncomfortable in terms of other people's opinions of you, or because of how you feel about yourself? If it's about other people, ignore them. I mean, it's hard to, but soon enough they'll move onto something else. If it's about yourself, then perhaps you are just a feminine man. If you were just a feminine man, would you be comfortable within yourself? Of course, I can't make the ultimate decision, but hope this helps.
I think it's uncomfortable for both reasons. I just...want to be back to how I was. I certainly don't mind being feminine, but I want to stop feeling like a girl.
