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I told my friend

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by ShaeShay, Jul 15, 2016.

  1. ShaeShay

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    Location:
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    One of my FB friends, who I met in a club, happens to be Pangender. I thought it would be safer to tell him first. I told him that I don't know if the other club members would feel about it, and I also came out and said I feel like I might be trans. He responded with, saying there are probably more people who would understand than I think. Then, he suggested we should get coffee or something. We haven't scheduled a time and day yet.
     
  2. stoutdriver79

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    It is always good to find another person who has similar struggles to yours. You can talk through issues rather than just tolerating them. Even if it's just to commiserate, your friendship could be very therapeutic.
     
  3. RyeTheDauphin

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    Good for you! Glad he was supportive about it. In my experience it can be easier to talk to people who have gone through similar things to you, so he might be a good person to confide in.
    Best of luck with it! :slight_smile:
     
  4. Jiramanau

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    I'm really happy for you! Telling the first person is the hardest. it's always scary, but I've been really surprised by how understanding my friends and partner have been and that's made it easier to talk to others. And all that coming out goes a long way towards validating your identity and helping you feel better. You're on the right track and I hope things keep going well for you.

    PS. I think it helps that when I come out to someone, I first emphasize why I don't identify with my assigned gender rather than starting with "I wish I was born female". It seems like people process that kind of revelation more easily if they are led into it instead of being blindsided. Once they understand that trying to be male is very uncomfortable for me, they usually ask if that means I want to be a woman. that opens the door to discuss non-binary identities and gendered socialization, and explain that while I feel very feminine I recognize that I will never be the same as a genetic female and therefor am not interested in assuming their labels. I'm just me, call it what you want.

    I'm sure that eventually someone just won't accept it, but so far it's worked for me.
     
    #4 Jiramanau, Jul 17, 2016
    Last edited: Jul 17, 2016