So to outline my situation: I don't have a binder of any sort, really.. I wear sports bras as much as I possibly can (I only have two) to alleviate some of the discomfort, but it doesn't do the job completely on my worst days. It's become a struggle to find clothes to put on in the morning, especially when neither of my sports bras are clean, or its too hot to wear my enormous hoodie. I sometimes try on 5 different things before I arrive at something that feels okay. Sometimes no matter what I do, it just doesn't feel right. And when I'm in pajamas.. Or trying to get to sleep.. Or just hanging around at home.. And I'm not trying to cover or keep it from bouncing around at all.. It's hard to not to focus on it. And part of the issue is that seeing them isn't the only thing that makes me sad. A lot of the time, just feeling them there is the worst part.. So ignoring it is even more difficult. I don't know what to do. I've looked around online a bit for help with distracting myself and feeling better about it but without much success. And I've never been too keen on discussing my body image issues with friends, family.. Or really anyone. I don't think I really want to bring it up with my therapist because of that.. I plan to ask my mom about getting a binder soon, but I keep chickening out and missing opportunities.. Bottom line- Anybody have any tips for handling chest dysphoria?
If say really try to ask for a binder, it helps like crazy with dysphoria. With the sports bras I've heard that wearing one forwards and the other backwards on top of each of the helps with compression. Also, who cares if they're dirty? Dysphoria is always worse than clean binders in my books. Try to hand wash them in the sink with some detergent the night before and leave them out to dry if you have time though. Also depending on chest size you could try KT tape which I can vouch for being pretty cool. Don't wrap it the entire way around but if your chest is small then cut if into strips and tape it need the middle of your chest and pull it around to the edge to flatten to the sides. Might need a few strips for each side but it works pretty well.
Before asking for a binder, you could also just ask for more sports bras. Personally I alternate between my binder and sport bras, because despite having one, it does get dirty... and some days I just don't feel like wearing it, for example when I'm lounging around at home. I would still say my binder does a better job, so I would recommend you ask your mom for one-- regardless of if you wanted more sport bras or not. I've found the best method for me is to say "Mom, I have to talk to you about something," (so that she'll insist on knowing and I can't back out!)... then take a deep breath and say it. You could also write her a note about it. She will likely want to discuss it with you once she's read the note, and this could make it easier for you since she's the one "starting" the conversation. So far as clothing, you could also look into wearing a vest or an open button-up over a t-shirt. It'd be cooler, but still do something to disguise the area. At home I usually wear loose t-shirts (with a stiff iron-on type design on the front) or a thick sweater... to me it looks more along the lines of a strangely bunched shirt/sweater than, you know, my chest. If you get more sport bras, you can also throw one on underneath to help hold everything down.
You really do just need to get a binder. It helps a LOT. And you're out to your parents. What are you so afraid of? It makes sense that you would want one. If you try not to make a big deal about it when you ask for one, they probably won't worry about it too much. Just ask. Ask now! Or get a prepaid visa gift card and order one yourself!
Yeah.. You're right... Luckily or unluckily, I realized that the night before last, so I texted mom about it when she was out of the house. What was I so afraid of before? I mean, I coddled them quite a bit when telling them. I want to give them time to process, you know? I didn't ask for any pronoun changes, or really anything at all. Asking for a binder was the first step in it being a real thing in my life. And once I did it, I felt like there was no taking it back. Anyway, she replied- "I am sure we can figure it out, but I do want to talk about it too... Xoxox" Yesterday was extremely busy, and she hasn't brought it up.. So hopefully she will sometime today, because I sure as heck don't know how to! ---------- Post added 24th Jul 2016 at 11:08 AM ---------- And thanks Jim and Isaac, I really appreciate your tips!!
Dude, the sleeping and 24/7 discomfort resonates so much with me! I had the same problems before I got my binders, but now it's just occasional discomfort when adjusting sleep positions. I'd say get the underworks magicotton one, that's what I bought and it works pretty well. But whatever one you get, it's much better once you get at least one. I've never even tried full length tank binders, I just wear the tri top ones that end at your stomach. But I read that those reduce overheating a bit. Full length ones also bunch up sometimes, but they also help prevent your stomach from looking weird in some sitting positions. Half length ones are probably better because they seem to overheat less, but I also can't speak for full length ones cause I don't have any.
