I've accepted it in my head now. I'm a man. I'm transgender and all the signs were there. I get why it took me so long to realise, it's been tough to let myself realise but I have. I exclusively wear men's clothing and have done for a few years now - which, in part is due to my muscular size but also because I've always preferred it anyway. And bonus, I have big feet so have always worn men's shoes and trainers. I also keep my hair extremely short. Recently, I've told my closest friend that I'm trans. I've been considering how to tell my family but the timing just doesn't feel right at the moment. Long story short, they're all a bit self involved and usually when I bring up me stuff, they relate it back to themselves and my problem/life update gets forgotten. Burden of being the eldest. My brother though, super elusive and doesn't care about much but London, drinking and staying firmly within the borders of London, is celebrated like a superstar when he comes back home (once a year). Anyway, so I'm not planning on telling them soon. But when I do, I'll pick them off one by one to save the third degree and embarrassment. I also have a GP appointment booked to talk about being trans and what my options are. I'm seriously considering transitioning. Here's my problem. Work. And notably, the judgy inbreds I work with. Gossip is rife, people are callous and I'm already treated like an outsider. Don't really get invited for coffee or lunch or whatever. If I happen to be going for a coffee, someone comes with and then just walks off so, I'm not exactly overwhelmed with support. I walk alone because I'm a lone wolf and because I'm different. I'm trying to leave this place, but with a house and a lack of jobs in the area I want to move to, it's hard. Only by moving can I see my life finally getting started. And with that, I feel I can transition. The weird thing is, I see a lot of people from America that transition happily and with tonnes of friends...maybe I need to move there (I would love to by the way, big time). No purpose to this thread, just mainly that I'm obsessed with being ftm and obsessed with looking at pictures of people on IG that are trans and look authentic.
