Last night my girlfriend asked me if I am sure I am still physically attracted to her. I've never really been able to answer this question properly because my feelings for her have got all mixed up in my feelings and insecurities about being trans and pansexual. It really didn't help that at the time I came out to her and myself my boy side had romantic feelings for my girl side. Those feelings have dissipated now but they haven't entirely been replaced by romantic feelings for her, or at least not in the same way and not to the same intensity, even though there is evidence that I do love her and find her attractive. It's disappointing for me and I don't really know what to make of it. The other thing is that when I doubt whether I have physical or romantic feelings for her, in addition to doubting whether I love her at all my brain decides to throw out the baby with bathwater and rejects any notion I'm not straight and not cis, even though I can prove I’m pansexual and genderfluid. It happens every single time, and continues to frustrate both of us. :bang: I don't understand how and why the two are connected. Is my brain trying to tell me that my boy side is pansexual but my girl side is straight? My girlfriend made the decision a long time ago to love me anyway even if I’m not physically attracted to her, but the uncertainty of it all is aggravating both of us and I’m not sure how well either of us would deal with “You love her emotionally but only when you’re a boy”. :icon_sad:
