How can I cope with being genderqueer and disapproving parents?

Hi guys, this is my first thread/question, so please forgive me if I am doing anything incorrectly here. I really need some advice though. For the past couple of weeks I've been researching and learning about being genderqueer and non binary. I've been switching around and trying to decide what fits best, and I'm thinking either demigirl or agenderfluid. However, that isn't the problem.

My parents don't really agree or understand anything relating to the trans* community--they say that clothing has gender and non binary people need to just decide already what side their on, which is boy or girl. I tried to explain that it isn't always a choice and that clothing can be for anyone as long as they are comfortable. That didn't go well. And last night I went out with my two friends to the mall (who I am out to and they totally support me). I got a boy's t-shirt and tank top and a $25 pair of boy's shorts. I know it was expensive, but getting that pair of shorts right then was my only chance, because my parents usually like to pick out my clothes. Big mistake. My parents were angry and they thought I was just transgender. I was too scared and didn't say anything but denied it.

They had me sit for an hour having me look at girl's shorts, trying to convince me to be 'girly' and have them above the knees (the boy's shorts I got were cargo shorts, below the knees). My mom said if I want boy clothes, then fine, she'll go and throw away all my feminine clothes and just shop for a boy and my step dad ended up making me feel worse by wearing the shorts and telling me to decide what gender I want to be. He even said that I still haven't decided what gender I like (I came out as bi a couple years ago).

They're making me return the shorts and I'm not allowed to wear the tank anywhere but over my swim suit or at home because it's not form fitting like a girl's shirt. And soon we're going shopping for girl's cargo shorts, but it doesn't feel the same I think... I really don't know what to do. I'm sorry this was long, but I just felt so unbelievably... horrible. No matter how much I cried, my mother refused to look at me and my step dad still makes some jokes today how I can't decide. Apparently non binary doesn't exist in this household.

What should I do? It's bad enough I have -very- minor dysphoria over my chest, and knowing I'll never be able to dress at all masculine is really bothering me. Some days I really am OK with being referred to as a boy but others I feel maybe neutral or as my actual sex--a girl. I'm only sixteen so I have a while left before I'm out of the house. Does anyone maybe have clothing ideas maybe or ways to cope? Thanks so much for any advice.

 

Alright, so I've been thinking about all this and my mom is willing to at least let me have a 'tomboy' look, and she may even let me have male shirts (just no to pants or shorts). She keeps reassuring me that she wants me to be honest and get what I feel comfortable wearing, as long as I don't look completely male. Oh well.

I won't really have time to get a job because I'm starting college classes this year and NHS and even if I could buy my own clothing, my parents have to see what I buy. They apparently still decide what I keep since I still live under their roof.

However, thank you for the advice. I've been thinking a lot about it lately and things have gotten slightly better. I'm even hoping to get permission to get a shorter haircut like I want.