How did you find out you were gender queer or gender fluid?

I first started questioning my gender identity fairly early. I tended to swing between stereotypical feminine (pink dresses, girly hair, nail polish) and stereotypical masculine (work shirts, jeans, short hair, work boots). A few years after I finished puberty I finally started googling and found the androgyne tag. This fit me well as I often felt like a mix between male and female. I have very strong masculine traits and strong feminine traits. From there it was mainly a matter of finding other people who identified similarly so we could talk about our identities and bounce ideas and concerns off of each other.

If you're looking to try and figure out your gender identity the best advice I can give you is to talk to other people, google a bit, and decide for yourself. No one can tell you your identity, that's for you to decide.

 

At the end of April I had an undeniable shift from boy to girl, accompanied by social dysphoria, and then a slow slide back to boy. That is a very strong indicator of genderfluidity. Also I was in the middle of a questioning phase anyway over a bunch of things which had alternative innocent explanations individually but which in combination were much harder to dismiss. Coming out as genderfluid felt "right", whereas previously whenever I'd said, "I'm a boy" it never felt 100% honest. Finally, denying that I'm genderfluid, or denying I'm not always a boy, results in emotional peace for a little while followed by the door being kicked down. :lol:

The inescapable conclusion, therefore, is that I am genderfluid.

 

I never really felt like a girl, in the sense that whenever someone said something along the lines of "All girls/women ~~", my gut response was "no" (even while wearing pink and playing with MLP in kindergarten). I did start to question it a little bit in high school, asked myself questions like "do you want a penis?" or "do you hate your chest?". All of my thoughts were very binary though, and I used my attraction to men to justify my 'womanhood' (whilst also hating the idea that anyone could think I was straight and constantly calling myself gay).

In university I took a class called Social Inequalities that basically covered all the -isms (ageism, ableism, sexism, classism, racism, heterosexism). When we talked about sexism, the prof brought up intersex. It was a lightbulb moment for me. "If binary sex doesn't exist, why does binary gender?" So that's how I knew. After that it was just a matter of figuring out what pronouns I'd like used and what presentation I wanted.

 

I'm still not sure myself, but I do seem to like using both pronoun to refer myself, and this is definitively something

I'm not out much, so sometimes I find it a restriction, having to use the pronoun society decided even if I think it's the wrong one, at least for that occasion... but I use the Internet to express myself in a better way, and that's not faking, like I used to think up to some time ago...

I also like my body reflecting my gender fluidity, when it's possible... (too bad I have unsupportive family).