So, like many others across the world I have been reliving my childhood through Pokemon Go. Recently I went to a poke event and ran into a but of an issue. The event would be held from 11am-2pm. Which means that we'd be out in the sun during the hottest part of the day...in the South...in the middle of summer where the tempts can get over 95°F, but feels over 100 with humidity. Here's the problem. Everyone else is smart enough the wear shorts, but I'm out there in heavy ass jeans. I had to explain to my friend that I hadn't shaved my legs in over year and the thought of walking out into the world with hairy legs on display is enough to cause some serious anxiety. I won't be able to enjoy myself because I will constantly be worried about if people will see my legs and know I'm trans, or think me some feminist lesbian, maybe they are thinking bad about me or hurtful things. And telling me no one cares or to stop worrying or to just go out there and be proud of my hairiness will not make the anxiety go away. Tired of people thinking it will. So I went to the event in jeans' didn't drink enough water' and got over heated. Almost passed out on the way home, doesn't help that the AC in the car is busted. My friend suggested that I just shave my legs if having hair is going to cause me this much anxiety. I admit that I never had anything against shaving legs, except that I am lazy and don't like taking the time out to do it. At time having shaved legs made me feel rather manly. But I also like my legs unshaven. I like looking down and seeing this hair that gives me the illusion of being a man, at least from my point of view. But out in public I am aware that I am "girl" to even strangers but I can't seem to pass for some reason. I am not one to break rules, not even societal ones. I think when people think of trans people they think of people who blast through rules, and that really isn't me. I follow rules, even when I know I'm male, and to not follow them causes me anxiety. I know transitioning will force me into breaking some of those rules but for now it is hard for me to do. So I guess I will have to shave my legs just so I can wear shorts at the next poke event.
If it makes you feel any better, I know cis men who shave their legs either for comfort or they just like the way it looks. The most important thing is that you have fun at your event.
I get you. I only shave my legs through duty of upholding the illusion that I'm not trans (when in fact I am) and not drawing attention to myself. Shaving legs is a chore and I only like it immediately after when theyre really smooth. But if I could and one day when I transition, I'll let it all hang out. Beard, arm pit hair and all!
I think hairy legs is something I'm going to ease into. Like just steadily shave less and less over a period of time till I'm comfortable and no one questions it any longer. But when I get home from school I shall have to labor at hacking down the leg forest before working on my last speech for public speaking. Both I dread
I'm trying to come up with something helpful. Hm. I'm the rule breaker of course. So I dunno if it will be helpful. I'll try to project my experience with a more masculine presentation. Heck, I was extremely anxious on the point of loose clothing, for example. I think it was the same for me with unshaced legs. Although I was not shaving from the feminist standpoint. Maybe try to expand your comfort zone not all at once but bit by bit? For instance, I first went to dojo with unshaved legs and changed with some girls seeing it. Nothing bad happened. Some dudes who were excersicing next to me also didn't give a damn about the forest on my legs. Then, I went to school with legs not shaved for a couple of days and in shorts, and so on... Also there is some sort of panick cycle... You fret over sth, you get nervous, you can't take it any longer so you just do it, and are obviously nervous while doing it, and then you stress out again but a bit less and repeat the cycle with less tension each time. P. S. A cis dude, 6-7 ft tall, with shaved legs just passed me.
Before I was comfortable I used to wear leggings everywhere before I thought I should shave my legs. I feel your pain.
I'm not trans so my opinion is probably useless. However, I went to your page to look at your pics. I thought you were a cis male from them. From looks alone you could pass easily. Or is a problem with your voice being too high or mannerism? Are you on hormones?
It's definitely one of the factors that took me a while to overcome. Breaking yourself into it slowly I'd the way to go. Start with wearing shorts around people that you're comfortable with knowing and that accept you. Then progress to more public spaces. Sometimes it's just about getting out there and doing it. Going to town for half an hour? Fuck it. Barely *if* anyone is going to know you. I can tell you that the more they're out, the easier it is. I barely think about the fact that I don't shave anymore, I only pass maybe 70% of the time but a lot of that is due to being out and my name being Isaac. Once your out little things like this will be a lot easier for you to deal with and get your head around.
Soo I definitely felt the need to comment on this because shaving has always been a big sticking point with me. And a big source of anxiety. I shaved my legs a few times in middle school, then never did it again unless I was starting to see a new girl then I would do it until we had sex then I would stop lol. I've never felt the need to do so personally, and I have always liked the way I looked with hairy legs (even for like the two years I was feminine presenting, and before I knew I was queer), but I was very self conscious about it and always felt like I was doing something bad, probably because people always act shocked when they see my legs. Usually just for the first time, but some people act fucking horrified even if they've seen my legs a hundred times. And let me tell you I have VERY HAIRY LEGS. I have hairier legs than most guys. I mean it's patchy around the thighs but on the calves (and toes, ankles, etc.) it is pitch black and like an inch long and THICK. Actually, it kind of alarms me to think about how hairy I'll be once I start T because I am so gosh darn hairy right now. I would love to be as hairy as a normal guy, but I'm pretty sure I'll have a fucking hair vest. Anyway, I hid my legs for a looooong time. I've probably shaved my legs ten times in my life and I never wore shorts and was very self conscious in a swimsuit, and usually I would just never go swimming. This last few months are the first time I have EVER worn shorts in public. And it gets just as hot here in the Kansas/Missouri area as it does where you live. I've been suffering in the heat my whole life and I am very sensitive to heat. Wearing shorts now is extremely liberating. I still wouldn't do it in front of work people or anything, but close friends, family and complete strangers, fuck yeah I'm wearing shorts. I still have a bit of anxiety if I have to wait in line or something because I know the person behind me is probably staring, but otherwise Idgaf. I have been trimming a bit though. I really don't think people would be so concerned if my legs weren't just SO HAIRY. My cis, feminine sister doesn't shave her legs for feminist reasons, but her leg hair is so thin and blonde no one looks twice. Now that I am able to really think of myself as a guy, it is easier to do this, but even if I was a woman, fuck it. No one can tell you what to do. And even if it doesn't help you pass, maybe it will at least make people think twice before calling you ma'am. If you are uncomfortable with the AMOUNT of hair you have, might I suggest getting some clippers. I just use the same ones I use on my head and use like a 3 or four guard and it makes it look much less unruly.
Don't forget that you notice the hair on your legs a lot more than people around you do. I am a woman and don't ever shave my legs, and no one around me ever seems to notice it. My point is that you should do what makes you feel most comfortable, since you will notice it more than anybody else does.
Dude I shave everything. Arms, legs, not a hair escapes XD being well shaved makes me feel like I have my shit together, haha. Shaving or not shaving is just personal preference, don't let it make you feel invalidated or "less manly" either way:3 Just do whatever you want and don't let others get to you hun
I'm not on hormones and my voice isn't really high. Its sort of in the that middle ground between male and female. I don't know why I don't pass. Even today I was hanging out with my brother and cousin while playing pokemon and I was called "young lady" Maybe its the fact that I have feminine curves from the neck down
I agree with Aaron. And what societal rules? You're a man so you can shave or not shave as you wish. Maybe work on your confidence, that can help you pass, just like working out does.
I go through shaving phases, lol. specifically, I hate being hairy and can get anxious. But sometimes when I shave I worry people will notice. I think it's just the anxiety that goes with being trans, at least for me
My legs are almost hairy than my brothers, it is going to take 4 or 5 razors to get through this. And I realize that while I will feel less anxious in public around those that know me as "girl" I will now be anxious around those I am out too. I will then have to explain to them why I shaved, which will lead to talking about other things. And really think me not shaving was mostly.me not wanting to be to girly. In my head, me in the future, is somewhat a bear of a guy when it comes to hair.
Whether shaving or not is girly is purely a social construct. There are cis women that don't shave their legs and cis men that do (especially for sports). I'm one of those girls that doesn't shave her legs. I don't give two shits what someone thinks.
