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Ace?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Xe O, Aug 5, 2016.

  1. Xe O

    Regular Member

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    Hey!
    I know the right word is "Agender" but I just really like the word ace. Please forgive me that :wink:

    And again I really don't have any clue where to start...so I will just come to the point.
    I think I'm agender but I'm not sure about it.
    Most of the time I don't feel like anything. Even if I think about it and try to figure something out, it just feels like nothing. No male, no female. Not even a third, independent gender. Just nothing.

    But there are these situations when I, for example, see myself mirroring in a window ar pass by something mirroring. Then sometimes the thought "Oh, I look male" or "Oh, I look female right now." runs through my head. And for this second the thought lasts I suppose I feel male or female. But these situations are very very rare and so looking back I'm not quite sure if I really felt male or female back then. It is as if it just vanished from my memory. Even though I try to remember it in these situations. But it just doesn't work.

    I also can't say what I was feeling while thinking that. If I liked the feeling of being male or female. I just don't remember but suppose that it felt okay looking male and was a bit annoying looking female. That's why I wrote in my description "ca.20% male).
    I like wearing mens' clothing and if society has to call me either "he" or "she", he would be better. Even if I don't really feel something when people call me "he". But it just doesn't feel as wrong as "she". And because no one call me "xe" (just too difficult for them) I can't tell what that would feel like.

    I thought about maybe being genderfluid but the word just...doesn't feel right. And these situations really are rare and only for some seconds. And most of the time I really feel just nothing at all.

    So what am I?
    Does these moments even have a meaning - or not?
    Am I genderfluid? Or trigender? Or agender? Or something other than that?
    Please help me out there :0

    Have a nice day!
    Xe
     
    #1 Xe O, Aug 5, 2016
    Last edited: Aug 5, 2016