I want to start appearing as a male in public, but my current problems are my mannerisms. Since I'm FTM I obviously grew up as a girl and learned the mannerisms of one (for example, sitting with one leg over the other, walking like a girl, standing with my weight on one foot, hands on hips a lot, etc.) and I'm trying to break those mannerisms and try to make it a habit to do stuff boys do. Now, sitting with my legs out is easy, but I constantly wonder what boys do for certain things, like leaning against walls, laying down, or gosh even just standing doing nothing because if I don't know what to do I unconsiously just go back to my girl mannerisms! So it would help me a lot if you boys (FtM's too!) who got it down can tell me your guy's mannerisms! (P.S. I know I can try to look it up on google but the first link that said 'FtM help'(or something like like) in the website address sent me to a porn website that threatened by computer with possible virusis, SO NO THANK YOU HAHA :eusa_danc)
Don't you hate those things that send you to porn websites? I wonder why that happens Like no joke the first time that happened to me I ran to my mother crying I was gonna get arrested xD As for advice, walk with your torso, not your hips. It'll make them sway a lot less. stand tall and lead with your shoulders.... if that makes any sense xD Wow I'm bad at this In my defense, I'm the definition of "feminine guy" so I tend to not be manly xD
I've had male mannerisms all my life, though I had to try lest I put my hands on my hips, my weight on one foot and cock my head a little. so I've thought about it alot, lol. The fundamental logic behind all male postures is assertion of strength. Not necessarily dominance, just strength and above all confidence. Stand feet firmly planted square to your shoulders. Arms at your side, crossed or hands in your pockets. Hold your neck straight and head high. Sitting, slouch just a little, knees apart. If there are arm rests, use them, they where created for men. Just start watching guys on TV and IRL, and pay attention to the little things.
I agree whole heartedly with Jiramanau. I have been thinking the same thing in the female direction for a bit. It's Feet apart when standing. Lean on things when talking to people, in a slightly forward (aggressive) manner. Shoulders can sit slightly forward , as opposed to the more feminine of having the shoulders slightly back and the chest out. Hands in pockets help. Think about the complaints about "manspreading " and do that, just don't be a dick about it. I never thought about he arm rest thing. I'm going to have to keep an eye out for it. It's the same theory as manspreading, really. It's your right to take up that much space so do it. Good luck!
A tip I was told is to avoid leaning towards people when they are speaking - it's a very feminine mannerism. If you find that you lean towards people a lot, then like Jjanon said you can lean on things like an armrest or table which doubles as more masculine-seeming (we men take up so much space) and helps prevent the "lean-forward".
The biggest issue you'll have is walking, in which all I can say is: Get used to taking bigger steps. if you put lots of distance between each step and can make it look natural, you'll definitely "walk like a guy". That distance makes your shoulders move naturally, or at least that's what I've found.
How could no forget walking!? Like iiimee said, long strides. Not comically long, just a little longer than normal. Also try to keep your feet slightly apart as you step/stride, instead of one foot infront of the other which is how I bet my hips to sway. Your going for a swagger/strut, George W Bush or John Wayne are nicely exaggerated examples, they both have very distinct hyper-masculine walks. Just tone it down alot once you get the idea, lol.
Haha, walking is funny. It was so difficult for me at first. Two separate lines for the two legs, not one. Hips have to move steady and not swing. What I'd reccomend is people watching. Sit in a crowded place, be a creep and obsrve. And then monkey the guys.
Honestly, over the years I have noticed that mannerisms matter WAY less than we as trans people tend to initially think they do. People only gender based off of mannerisms if your physical characteristics are extremely androgynous. If you don't pass while sitting still, "male" mannerisms aren't going to fix that. And if you do pass, "female" mannerisms will only make people think you're gay - not a woman. Save yourself the trouble and stress and just behave in whatever way comes most naturally to you.
Oddly enough I never really thought about this kind of stuff. I always just had "girl manerisms"(part of why I got bullied and why I was controlled by fear for so long) I often get/got called "miss" or "ma'am" from behind since I grew my hair out after high school. Just did what felt most natural to me.
From what I've heard you should take up space like sit with your legs open or if you like to cross your legs then rest your ankle on your knee. I've never had a lot of issues with mannerisms but I was raised mainly by my dad so aside from putting my hands on my hips I generally have very masculine mannerisms but I don't think people look into that too much.
I mimicked my dad a lot as a kid, plus I'm a pretty confident and aggressive person in general when I am comfortable at least, so most male mannerisms come naturally to me. I have always sat with my legs very far apart and cross my legs ankle over knee (my dad crosses his legs like that almost constantly). I also take very long strides but that is partly because I am impatient and antsy and have long legs. There are a few things I have had to consciously do/avoid though. Number one is standing with the weight on one foot and the hip kinda jutted out. That is just a very comfortable way to stand. (don't take it from me. Good part starts at 1:50 Not Manly-Comedy Central Presents - Video Clip | Comedy Central Try not to do that though. And definitely don't put your hands on your hips. You don't want to look too sassy unless you pass well already and are cool with looking gay. Another thing I struggle with is gesturing a lot and smiling and leaning in. Plus my voice gets very high when I'm excited. Avoid that stuff. And walking is a big one. Although I take naturally long strides and my walk was never FEMININE I don't think, I've started walking with my legs a little further apart and that has made a huge difference. All the other comments here are very good advice.
