What are your tips/ideas on coming out as trans to your parents? I think I'll write them a letter but I'm honestly so scared (even though I'm quite confident they'll react well to it) I feel like I'd rather never do it but then they'll never know and I can never really be myself around them... I am also still confused / insecure about my gender...
no i think the latest update they had on my sexuality was bi, but I'm not even sure whether I'm pan or gay and honestly not that bothered about it compared to my gender
Make sure that whatever you tell them is what you actually feel. Since you assume that they will take it nicely, first make sure, take your time and if you fully accept yourself go ahead and tell them all about it.
A couple of tips that I can give is to do it separately. First tell the parent that you think it going to be more accepting and then once they've settled with the idea, give it maybe a week or two, then tell the other. If you tell them both at the same time they can often play off each other and act against you which is a bad situation. This way you have their full attention. I took both my parents to public places, mum at a motorway service and dad whilst we were eating dinner at a pub. Gave them a letter explaining how I as feeling, what I wanted to happen and what I wanted from them. And then because they read it in front of me it gave them time to process and then discuss anything with me afterwards. Both of them were unsure but mum wasn't surprised, they were both accepting but give them time to get used to things. Maybe mention that you're unsure of your gender identity and you're working things out. However I know some trans people like to work their identity out before they come out to people, just so they're able to confidently explain themselves and it's less confusing for people.
I know I identify as male at the moment, my insecuruty is just whether I'll go back to feeling more female or whether I won't and that's why I am scared of coming out, that they'll just call it a phase because I used to feel more comfortable in my body and female role than I am now, But I know I won't be happy if they refer to me as female now so I think I'll have to come out soon.
I would just mention that you are having gender issues if you are not sure. It sounds less threatening anyway. And chances are if you tell one of them you are trans, they will tell their spouse later. I agree to tell separately and first the one that will be cooler about it. But like I said, spouses don't really keep secrets like that, especially about their kids.
At the end of the day, whatever feels comfortable for you. If you can't face a discussion, try a letter. Or if you just want it out of the way, get it over and done with. I'm in a similar position.
