It should be no surprise that I've got my insecurities... But one of them is feeling like I'm not "trans" enough, to be considered "transgender" by people. As of late (for the past few months now), I've been expressing myself through Steam games, however whenever I get asked "are you really a girl", I feel compelled to say "yes", obviously, but I also feel that it should be a yes*, if you understand what I mean. I feel like I have to actually explain that I'm trans to people, because I feel bad... but then I get people ask me "why is your voice still so deep", it makes me extremely self conscious. I'm trying to work on feminising my voice, and have been for the past few weeks, but I don't feel like I'm making much progress, and that I'm not 'passable' online yet, which is extremely saddening, as that's where I go to actually express myself. I also feel that I'm not "trans enough" because I'm failing to express myself in the real life. No way in a MILLION years would I pass as a girl, because I don't try. I feel like I would never pass, so what's the point in even trying. Are these thoughts normal? 'Cause I sure don't think they are :/
I think a lot of us experience that feeling of thinking we must not really be trans because we aren't exactly like the other trans people we see or the typical trans narrative. The fact of it is, if you identify as trans, you're trans enough. I totally get what you mean about feeling like the answer to 'are you really a girl' shouldn't just be a plain and simple yes. Unfortunately, the binary of man and woman that's woven into our society doesn't allow for much acknowledgement of those of us who don't fit perfectly into one box. We just have to pick which one is pretty close, I guess. Anyways, you ARE trans enough. Your identity IS valid, and it's not up to anyone else to tell you that it isn't.
That's the problem. A lot of people don't seem to understand the concept of nonbinary fully, so it's kinda frustrating at times. Thank you though, that really gave me the confidence boost i needed c:
You don't owe explanations, that's what I learnt. Confidence can go a long way. Think about it this way. There are all kinds of women. Think about Ellen Ripley She shaved her head and was one of the guys, women in the army, women who crossdressed as men in order to make a career or gain the privilege of men in old times. Or women who were pressured by life to perform masculine roles. It reminds me of a Soviet woman I read about, who was a blacksmith and complained about having manly hands because of that. Or maybe you could try finding out about trans women in history, and how they lived? How you identify, who you know you are, doesn't determinehow you choose to express it, and if you don't express your identity IRL, or fail to do so, that doesn't mean you are not a girl. There are all kinds of people out there.
