Story time!!! I hope you find my life at least somewhat entertaining. The following is a little long, but I hope you enjoy it. ALL of these thing really did just happen. So this has been quite the day already. And it's only 10:26am LOL!!! So I have been dreading getting my license renewed for sometime now. I'm not exactly sure why, but maybe it's because my old license is a definite picture of a really good looking man. Short, spiky hair and all. But that's not who I am anymore. And it hasn't been me for a really long time now. I've actually had to use my license a couple of times to get clearance to go into some places, and the guards have REALLY had to check and double check to make sure that the man pictured is indeed this feminine looking person before them. Don't get me wrong, I still feel like I look like a guy. And maybe that's my problem, maybe I'm too hard on myself and don't see myself as the world does. I am often looked at as female, which for me is SO AWESOME. Example, my dentist, eye doctor and bank teller (who knows me, I just had my hair up in a ponytail) all have asked me "Is "birth certificate name" here?" In which case I embarrassedly reply, "Hi. That's me, I'm "birth certificate name"." And they become embarrassed because they THINK they mis-gendered me (which they really didn't). So, today was the day to get my license renewed at the DMV. Nothing is more awkward. I decided to not wear make up and just go as the male that will be identified on that license. I did shave because I didn't want to look TOO manly (LOL). So, even though I just had my second session of laser hair removal on my beard, I do still need to shave, especially if I'm not wearing any concealer. So, sure enough, I nick myself... ON MY LIP!!!! :bang: Literally right on my cupid's bow. EHCK!!! I took some allergy medicine last night not thinking that I was going to the DMV the next day. So of course I had puffy bags under my eyes. This is turning out to be a GREAT DAY!!! (not). So I put a little ice-pack thingy that is cloth on one side and plastic on the other on my under eye. I used the cloth side and when I pulled it away from my eye, sure enough something white was attached to my bottom eyelid. Right where the lashes meet the skin. So I did what any other panicked person who is about to get their picture taken would do. I started rubbing my eye and using my nail to try to scrape it off. Finally it came off. Yep, you guessed it. Now my eye is super red. "I give up!!!" I thought to myself as I hurriedly rushed out the door with my daughter, so we can try to beat the lines. Ha!!! We made it, and we are a half hour early and the line isn't too bad at all. Just a really quick check in the mirror. Good, the redness is gone!!! Not bad, looking pretty on fleek for a super feminine looking DUDE :dry:. So, my daughter and I get out of the car to wait in the line. And then it hits me. BAM!!! SO MUCH DAMN HUMIDITY!!! My hair+humidity=instant afro:eusa_doh:. Well, nothing I can do about that, so we start walking past everyone in line to get to the end, and yes, THE STARES!!! I'm not talking about the stairs that tighten your buns because they are a great workout. No, I'm talking about the stares that tighten your buns because you are nervous and uncomfortable. My trans sisters and brothers can back me up here!!! Sometimes it bothers me, sometimes it doesn't bother me…as much. But today, the stares were KILLING me!!! So, at least my daughter is with me. She is, and has been, my rock during this whole transition. I love her so much. At least I have her. And so we are sitting there on the side walk with a bunch of people that are trying to figure out "what the hell is that?" (probably not, but again, my trans community can attest that, even though it's probably 90% in our minds, we totally feel like people are always saying that about us.), and then the unmentionable happens. My own daughter, my rock, my love, my best friend, accidentally clocks me :eek:. "So, Daddy, I was just watching a video about leo Dads and their personalities, and it says that they love their children and want to constantly be with them. So I guess that's why you always want to be with me and don't want me to go back to school.":eek: Of course she didn't stress the words Daddy and Dad and you. That's just the way I heard it. And the rest of the line too. Oh well. She is still the greatest daughter EVER!!!! So finally the place opens up. SO NERVOUS!!! I don't even know why. Palms are sweaty and everything. I passed my eye test, and my number is almost instantly called. Things are starting to really change for the better. Must have been all that positive energy from before :eusa_liar. So the lady collects my paper work and looks up, and there it is… the look again. I look over at the woman sitting next to her and she is almost in a trance staring at me. But the lady that is working on my paper work is smiling at me and says that I need to answer the questions on the renewal form. UHGGG!!! How could I have missed that?!?! Now it will take even longer before I can make my escape. Then she tells me, "It's ok sweetie, take your time. No hurry, I'm here all day. You may fill it out here so you don't have to wait in line again." "Ah, thank you!!" replied to her. Wow, thing are still looking up after all. Finally after I answer all the questions, and she processes all the paper work, she tells me to go over to station 6 to get my picture taken. And then she did/said something that was totally unexpected. She gently put her hand on top of mine, and she said, "Oh, and honey, I just have to say, I am SO jealous of you. You are SO beautiful and you don't have on a single drop of makeup. You just look so beautiful. And I just want you to know that." "AHHH" I gushed. "Thank you so much!!! That so sweet of you!!"(*hug*):eusa_clap(!):eusa_danc She made me feel so beautiful, so loved and so belonging. And then I got picture back complete with my poofey hair and a shadow that totally look like a mustache:eusa_doh:
Wow, that day started off hectic. It's amazing how one person can make all the difference. A little bit of kindness goes a very long way to helping people feel comfortable and accepted.
The day was interesting to say the least, but I survived it and hopefully got some people to smile along the way. Yes, that lady made all the difference in the world. Kindness is an amazing elixir!!!
That's awesome, thank you for sharing. That bit about your daughter is interesting. mine is 5, I haven't even begun to figure out how to handle telling her, or her mom. If you don't mind me asking, how did she (daughter) handle it? What does she think?
Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed the story. I don't mind talking about my daughter at all. She is my most favorite subject!! Please keep in mind, again, that she is 13, so I don't know if she how she would have handled it if she were 5. In some instances, it may be easier for the child. They would be young enough that they may still just look at your transition as a way of life. It may also be more difficult. I mean whether we want to admit it or not, being transgender does indeed present some complexities that a 5 year old may or may not be able to grasp. Good luck on telling her. Here,(*hug*), sending you some good juju for when that happens. As far as how she handled it, that too is little bit of a long story. Fast forwarding to the ending, she handled it SO AMAZINGLY well!!! I just remember laughing and crying at the same time. Since coming out to my daughter, we have been SO close. We always had been, but now we just seem even closer. I think I will do another Story Time about coming out to my daughter in the next couple of days. So if you want all the details, keep checking back. As far as what she thinks about it, she absolutely loves it!!! She so desperately wants me to be happy and for me to live my life happily. I am so truly blessed to have her. I know that, just like spouses, each individual daughter will have their own reactions as they start to form their own ideas and beliefs. I hope and pray that your daughter's reaction will be the same as mine!!
