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I feel like I should go back into the closet - FTM

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by jjstarship, Aug 15, 2016.

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  1. jjstarship

    jjstarship
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2016
    Messages:
    1
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    Location:
    NYC
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Hi. I know I'm male and I've begun the process to transition, however I just can't accept the fact that I'll never be biologically male. It sort of makes me not want to transition and go back in the closet. All of my family and friends know and everyone uses a different name for me now. However, whenever someone uses an incorrect pronoun I ask myself, "is this really okay to tell people" because i wasn't born male. I also get sad when I think about the dating situation. I don't really know what to do and I need some help. I'm a month on testosterone and need to mind boosters.
     
    #1 jjstarship, Aug 15, 2016
  2. SkyWinter

    SkyWinter
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 28, 2016
    Messages:
    782
    Likes Received:
    82
    Location:
    GA
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    That sounds rough. If you are already out to your family then what is it exactly that makes you want to go back in the closet? Yes, you'll never be completely biologically male, but that doesn't mean you aren't you, right?

    I'm sort of the opposite of you gender wise. I'll never be biologically female. I find myself looking in the mirror sometimes thinking "What am I doing wearing these clothes and trying to present this way even to myself. It's all a lie" but in a sense there isn't anything I can do about it. I think every trans person has a struggle like this at some point. Im not sure I can do anything to help you except to tell you that there are others here like yourself who know what you are going through.
     
    #2 SkyWinter, Aug 15, 2016
  3. AnguishXx

    AnguishXx
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 23, 2016
    Messages:
    107
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Italy
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    Some people
    "Is it okay to tell people?" of course it is! I don't see anything wrong in it.
    And it's what you feel that matters, not how you pass :slight_smile:

    About the dating situation, that can be tricky, but I'm sure there are also nice and supportive people out there.
     
    #3 AnguishXx, Aug 16, 2016
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