Some days, I wish I could be born a guy again. I currently tell folks that I trust that I am a lesbian. That said . . . I'm actually developing into what I feel is an attractive woman. I like how hair looks on me. I don't like the way it feels. I wish I could cut it all off again, go back to being noticeably lesbian or trans, but being beautiful does make me feel better. I just wish I could have been a beautiful boy instead. It's hard to know that the majority of the world is straight. I mean, it's crazy. To not be able to tell someone you love them because you're afraid. Not just of rejection, but of lack of acceptance and fear and hatred. I wish I could have been a guy, inside and outside. I wish I was physically stronger, taller, handsome. I'd rather have the role of a husband than a wife. I want to feel safe walking the streets at night and to have a woman love me as I am. I'm not even unattractive or anything, but the more I slip into this role of the "pretty girl," the more cis I look, the harder it will be for people to identify me. And this whole asking out thing. I look femme but I dress tomboyish, and I act tomboyish. I'm both masculine and feminine at heart, but tomboyish is the best way to describe it. I'm not a stone butch. But I feel like, in a relationship, I'd be the top in bed, I'd be the more masculine one, the one doing the protecting. But I feel inadequate to play that role in this body and it's hard finding love as a lesbian. I want to find a lady who's femme on the streets, tomboyish or sporty at heart, and femme in the sheets, and I don't know any woman who likes penetration who isn't straight. Haha.
Sorry you're having such a rough time. Wanna switch bodies? Are there really no lesbians who like penetration? There have to be some.
Some lesbians do like penetration, and most bi women also do considering the chemistry with men (who might even be a better bet for you if you are leaning non-binary right now).
This is not a pick up because I am married What you've described yourself as is very close to what I've started to find very attractive. I can't help but let you know that I am pretty sure you will find person who likes you the way you are. They do exist, I guarantee you.
