My dysphoria is not that strong. I could choose to live my life ignoring all my gender thoughts, like I did until now. Of course, that would be a lonely and empty life, an existence in which I have troubles even looking at the mirror, but it would be bearable... theorically. At least I wouldn't have to face the hate of my family (well, maybe that's already too late for that :/ ), the discrimination of society, and all the difficulties and cost of the transition. It's just that... I don't think that ignoring what I feel would lead me to a life worth living. And I know I'm not doing anything wrong, I'm just asking to be me...
You can avoid most of the problems related to society if you build up confidence. Also, being trans doesn't mean you'll live a horrible life. Yes, the challenges will be greater but in the end, what counts is your happiness. Don't let go like that just because you don't have a lot of dysphoria and prefer avoiding the world's opinion. You'll come out stronger than before if you decide to continue living as a female. We all take a risk by exposing ourselves out there as unique individuals. And it's a risk that is worth taking. As much as it seems difficult at first, getting started and continuing until you're satisfied with yourself is probably one of the biggest challenges and accomplishments you'll have in your life. Because fighting for who you are is awesome. So go out there and show them your true self! And some people will thank you for it, no doubt about that. Because they care about you.
Ah, I've thought very similarly to this before. I even went so far as to go off of hrt and go back to trying to go by my birth name and pronouns because I thought it'd make life easier. It doesn't. At some point you figure out who you are and going back from that isn't something you can really fully do. It's always going to be in the back of your head and it's not going to be easy (or possible) to forget. Just like anything else, ignoring what you feel isn't gonna turn out good. It's okay to take breaks and take things in moderation, but you can't wholly deny who you are. And you shouldn't have to. You can take things as you're comfortable, and as you can. Transitioning doesn't have to be an all-or-nothing process. Everyone lives life differently, even trans people. No one's path is going to be exactly the same, and only you can know what is really going to work for you. Don't give up on yourself. Some people are shitty, but there are plenty of us out here who will love you no matter what.
Thank you, that was really inspiring ^^ I also came out to an important friend some moments ago so... yeah. I'm slowly getting out of the closet, and I'm happy with this, but I also feel I could not return as before without some consequences... oh well, I believe in what I'm doing And thank you Ghostling too!!
