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Feeling a little unsafe (external forces)

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by BluhImCourtney, Aug 18, 2016.

  1. BluhImCourtney

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    So for the past two or so months, I've had to attend summer school; for the first few weeks, things were okay, but the day right before the couple-days break in the middle, a few kids (looked about middle school age) were throwing rocks at me. My back was turned, and I didn't get hit, but we were in the school's parking lot at the time, so even if they weren't throwing rocks at me (which is highly unlikely, because I felt the rocks hit the ground near my feet, and whenever I looked back, they tried to avert their eyes from me as they were looking right at me beforehand), they still could have hit one of the cars still parked there.

    So after the mini break, I'm sitting at the lunch table with one of my friends, and another couple of younger students came up to me and one of them asked, "Hey, my friends wanted to know, are you a boy or a girl?" From the way she was trying to hold back a grin and from looking at her friends laughing over at their table, I assumed they were trying to taunt me, so I calmly replied, "Can I ask why the f*ck it matters?" Maybe I should have not used the profanity, but after I said that, the couple of girls went back to their friends and said, in a mocking voice, "... said, 'The f*ck it matters.'"

    So I'm like, "Okay, whatever, I get mocked first day back after having rocks thrown at me, but whatevs."

    A couple days later someone threw a piece of a poptart at me. ._.

    One day during the last week of summer school, as I was heading towards the bus, I caught another student staring at me with disgust, and when she realized I was looking at her, she literally sneered at me.

    Now summer school is over, and disregarding all of the personal drama happening within my relationships and my own mental health issues (ie depression and anxiety), it should help now that I'm away from that environment, but no; those two kids who were throwing rocks at me live somewhere down the street from me, so that only exacerbates my already sort of crippling anxiety.

    I'm worried that it might be irrational, since a lot of other trans people go through much worse, but recently I've been more on-edge when going outside because of this... I'm not sure what to do about it, since I don't know exactly where they live, just that they're down the street... :\
     
  2. RainbowGreen

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    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I'm sorry you experienced this :frowning2:

    Even if some people can experience worse than this, don't think that your feelings are any less valid because of it.

    High school can be a terrible place for people like us. I know that I got asked tons of times if I was a boy or a girl. I always responded with ''why do you care?'', ''why should I tell you?'' or the like. They always ask to mock you, so don't let them have it. If people keep taunting you like that, try to think of cool comebacks :wink:

    For those boys, maybe try to confront them (if you think you can). Since you're older, they might be easy to scare off. Apart from that, I really don't know what to tell you.

    I just hope it gets better for you and know that high school won't last forever :slight_smile:
     
  3. BluhImCourtney

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    Thanks, but as I said, I'm not sure how to confront them (on my terms at least) cause I don't know exactly where they live. .-.

    And yeah, thankfully I either am done with high school or will be if I failed the courses and took credit recovery stuff, and as far as I know, credit recovery is online.

    Thank you for your reply ^-^
     
  4. EleanorHunter

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    Location:
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    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I'll tell you right now that I seethed with rage a little bit at the thought of those kids you mentioned. People can be jerks, and I'm really sorry that you had to deal with that crap. (*hug*)

    Like RainbowGreen said, having witty comebacks will help. Also, don't act like it's a big deal, and maybe the other kids will take a hint and realize that there are more important things than scrutinizing someone's gender. If you're on good terms with your parents, maybe you could talk to them and see what they might be able to help you with. They may know the parents of the kids down the street, or at least know of them. Telling the parents would definitely be more effective than telling the kids, if they're good parents and know that their "little angels" aren't so perfect.

    Either way, I hope things will get better from here. Because you really do deserve to live your life and have a good time! Don't let assholes like that keep you scared of the world.