So, if anyone saw my earlier thread, they would know that my parents are... not the most accepting people. I had conversation relating to gender non conforming people and they had expressed the opinion that non binary people and anyone who is different from just being transgender is doing it for attention. All they want is to be special and unique. Wow. Recently I was under the impression that my mother would at least let me shop in the guy's section for graphic t shirts. She does, but only angrily and as a last resort and she seems really aggravated when I can't find something I like in the girl's department. My step dad told me that my mother was afraid I was trans. When I said I wasn't he went on about how this generation terrifies him. Gender will no longer exist so then anyone can do anything. There will be no boundaries. He thinks that I only want to shop in the boy's section to either "look like a lesbian" or to follow in Jaden Smith's footsteps. He said that Jaden is just doing what he's doing for attention. He says that I'm scaring him and that he wishes things could just go back to before. He never thought we would have that kind of conversation or that he would have to force me to wear strictly female clothes and that it is all stupid. To top it off, he said that it doesn't matter if I even do want to be a boy. I will always be a girl. When I'm 36 I'll still be female, no matter what I do. The worst part is, when I was joking around about my baby brother (who is 16 months) about his crushes on cute characters on tv, I said that another little boy character was cute. He really was, and it was just my opinion, not even thinking of Brody. However my step dad freaked out and got angry with me and told me not to be an influence on him. It's already bad enough apparently that he'll be with children who are able to wear clothes from either gender. So yeah, I'm still trying to figure things out, but a big part of how I express myself is through my clothes and I would feel more comfortable looking even just slightly masculine sometimes. All of this is really bothering me and I think there is no chance to even try to explain to them anything. I'm getting my hair cut super short this Sunday, and now I'm really anxious because I don't want to see my mother's face during or after it. I just... I feel really anxious and frustrated and all these different feelings and it's ruining the last of my summer. Any advice? Sorry for the rant, and thanks if you actually read this and decide to help. :help:
My parents had a similar reaction when I told them I thought I was trans (back when I was 15). I had never been allowed to cut my hair short, but they'd never had an issue with me wearing "male" clothing. As soon as I came out, they refused to pay for clothes from the men's section anymore because they didn't want to "encourage" me. The result was me borrowing money from my sister. You're definitely not alone in this. It sucks that gender-neutral identities are disregarded so heavily and horribly. Maybe something that would help is if you point out how many women in day-to-day life wear men's clothing - it's not exactly going to make you "special" or give you more attention because a good amount of female people already do it. If it doesn't work, maybe pick out the most neutral and masculine-looking clothing that you can from where you are allowed to shop; a lot of stores should cater for that. It's unfortunate but I don't know if there's a way to help your parents understand non-binary identities. Some people's minds just can't be changed, it may be a matter of holding out until you are able to support yourself and can move out. That's what I had to do, it sucks but it's possible and friends can help you through it. Whatever you do though, stay safe. Best wishes to you and a huge hug. (*hug*)
Thanks for the advice. I just felt like I really had to say something. And I'm sorry you had to deal with that with your parents as well. I am a bit envious though, since even if I make my own money to buy clothing, they still decide if I can keep it or not. And sadly, they disagree heavily with women today wearing masculine clothing. Finding something neutral is hard, but I'm doing my best. It makes me feel better knowing I have people who understand to an extent. I probably will have to wait until I move out, which is still a couple years from now, but oh well. I'm glad to have my supportive friends; I just feel bad sometimes pouring my troubles onto them. Thank you so much, I really appreciate the message! (*hug*)
