How Can I Be Sure That I Don't Want To Become a Woman?

From what you've said, it sounds more to me like you just like to crossdress. Wearing a skirt doesn't mean that you want to be recognised as female at all, just like a woman wearing trousers doesn't mean that she wants to be recognised as male. That's simply gender expression rather than gender identity.

It's really less of "changing gender" or "becoming a girl", and more of making what you look like on the outside and how you're treated by others match how you feel on the inside. A transwoman isn't becoming a woman, she was always a woman; it's just that her appearance didn't match what society normally considers a woman to be. Your gender is something which, while it is fluid and can shift, is generally constant - by which I mean, a lot of transmen will always have had feelings that they are male and/or that they aren't actually female, while a genderfluid person often will have had feelings of their gender shifting even before they knew what it really meant. This doesn't apply to every transperson, but it's often seen as one of the key indicators of being trans. If that's not how you feel, it's more likely this is a fetish or you just have more feminine self-expression than some men, though you'll need to think for yourself whether thats the case or if you're one of the transpeople who don't have those sorts of feelings.

My general rule of thumb questions are:
Does living as your assigned gender (male) make you uncomfortable or unhappy? Do you have discomfort with your body and/or the way people treat you due to the fact that you are seen as your assigned gender?
Do you think that living as a different gender (female) would make you feel more comfortable or more happy in life? Does the idea of SRS and/or HRT appeal to you more than the idea of keeping your body as it is and/or would you like other people to see you and treat you as a different gender?

 

When you say you want to be a girl, is this in the sense that you want to present as female, or be recognised by others as female and treated accordingly (pronouns/name)?

I have a friend (female) who is greatly excited by presenting as male. However she still feels comfortable that under the clothing she is female, and she still very much 'feels' female, has no desire to change her body in anyway despite having taken certain measures to look 'male' when she is presenting in a male way. (She goes beyond just wearing masculine clothing - she will bind and use makeup to create the illusion that she has facial stubble). She passes convincingly as a man, but simultaneously there is no part of her that actually is male. She just really enjoys cross-dressing.

I'm genderfluid, afab. My experience is very different to the above friend's. When I dress as a 'male' I do not pass so well, and it does not necessarily excite me in the same way. It is more that I choose to do so to attempt to cue the people around me to treat me as a man. This is because when I'm male I really hate being within my biologically female body. I actually prefer women's clothing - think it is a lot prettier and that there are more options for expression of style - but I feel the need to dress as a male to give a signal to people around me. I wish to be perceived as male when I am male.
And then when my gender flips I am happy being perceived as female and will revert to more feminine clothing in order to cue others.

How do you feel when you are feeling more female? Would you like people to treat you as female? You said there's a voice in your head that want to be a girl - is this the voice of your female self trying to break through, or your male voice wanting to be female? Sorry if I'm slipping up with the terminology I'm using - I'm trying to be as polite as possible and don't mean to offend anyone... I'm still struggling with terminology when it comes to describing how I feel, so I don't want to make you feel bad by anything I've said. Just trying to better understand what you mean when you say a voice 'wants to be a girl'.

 

Why do you feel/want to be a woman? It's important to understand that first.

If you like wearing dresses, and that is your only clue to being a "woman", then you probably aren't a woman, but instead a crossdresser.

I'm a woman and I hate dresses, makeup, etc. I'm tomboyish, and so is my Mom, but we're still women.

There are also trans women and genderfluid AMAB's who completely hate wearing dresses. They are also tomboys, but feel like women.

So that's the important thing to ask yourself. Being trans is about having a brain mismatch and dysphoria of either the body or pronouns/presentation.

 

Also, know that there are more genders than just Male and Female! You don't have to fully commit to being one or the other, there are plenty of shades inbetween and even more off the scale completely. Gender is fluid and defined from person to person, there's nothing wrong with not being 100% or 100% female

 

Just wondering, but are you afraid of your girl side?