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How do I convince my parents to let me cut my hair?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Kodo, Aug 25, 2016.

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  1. Kodo

    Kodo
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    I haven't had a proper haircut in 10 months, aside from secretly cleaving it with the kitchen shears. Right now it's above my shoulders and just long enough to tie it in a messy rubber-band knot. But I'm tired if having ugly and messy hair that I can never feel comfortable with.

    When I came out, my parents effectively banned me from haircuts. Somehow this forces me to "cope with being female" like I "should." But I'm sick of it. I'd asked a few months ago if I could get a haircut, and my mother disagreed, saying I have to get my father's permission (and he will say no).

    Part of me wants to shave it all off in defiance. But... I'd really like to have nice hair and to do that I need to go to a salon. I would also like to have it dyed and straightened, which I would assumed the 'rents would be fine with considering the stereotypically "feminine" association with such things. But four some reason this is frowned upon too?

    I want to bridge this topic peacefully, but sometimes I get livid about it all. It's my hair and I'm an adult. I mean, come on.

    I guess the main issue is that if I get it cut how I like, they'll think I'm trying to come off as a boy again, and become concerned about my eternal salvation. I just...?

    Any advice for how to deal with this?
     
    #1 Kodo, Aug 25, 2016
  2. SkyWinter

    SkyWinter
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    So are you over 18? Do you have your own car? Go get a haircut then.

    If they are religious and concerned so much about your salvation what do you think God is going to say to them about not letting their child do the things that made them comfortable?

    Like it would go something like this:

    God: So you didn't let your child cut their own hair? Why?

    Your parents: We didn't want her to go to hell.

    God: When did I ever say anything about haircuts leading to hell?

    Your parents: Well, she said she's gay and we wanted to curb that by not letting her get a haircut that is more boyish.

    God.... You didn't answer my question.

    Your parents: Being gay leads to hell

    God: Uh huh, and what about haircuts? Do those lead to hell? If haircuts lead to hell then why don't crappy parents preventing their child from getting a haircut lead to hell?

    end scene...

    Just go get a haircut. If they complain about it then there is something wrong with them. They care more about controlling you than loving you. That's not cool.

    So do you think you deal with the drama that would come from coming home with your hair cut?
     
    #2 SkyWinter, Aug 25, 2016
  3. anthracite

    anthracite Guest

    I don't think your parents deserve that you make them happy by making yourself unhappy. You're an adult, get that haircut! If you really don't want to upset them, maybe try to get it into a man bun.
     
    #3 anthracite, Aug 26, 2016
  4. CamN15

    CamN15
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    I had the same problem with my mother... I would say just cut it off. You can do what you want with your own body, skin, hair etc. I just cut it off without telling her beforehand, after having had numerous massive arguments. It was horrible, and she was so angry with me, but hey I felt so brilliant and relieved afterward so I didn't even mind. She calmed down after a while. And my hair went right down to my bum, so it was super extreme :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
    I now have my very short haircut that I like, but at the point I first cut it I opted for the most masculine pixie-cut I could get away with. So I could hold a magazine up and show my mum it was technically a 'girl's haircut. But with my face shape it wasn't so feminine :slight_smile:
     
    #4 CamN15, Aug 26, 2016
  5. Blood Elf

    Blood Elf
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    You're an adult, go get it cut, or cut it yourself. Not to mention, men have long hair as well, not sure why they think you having long hair will make you more female.

    Eternal salvation? What about all of the pictures depicting of Jesus having long hair? Ugh, it just makes no sense.

    Or, rock a manbun. Those are always nice.

    But, whatever you decide to do, good luck!
     
    #5 Blood Elf, Aug 26, 2016
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