I have this theory. I brag and compete a lot against other guys. It was even more intense when I was a child. Never did I compete with females about a bigger chest or makeup skills. But as a child, I needed to be better at everything. Upset more girls tham the others did (we were quite a mean group), climb the highest and most dangerous tree, be the best fighter. We fun-fought a lot and sometimes I arranged a 3 versus me fight (and won ^^). Also, who can do more push-ups, who is best at arm-wrestling. Today it's mostly about fun-fighting (still, but rarely), an athletic body, and drinking battles. I think this might very well come from my lack of physical manliness, that I need to compensate. Has anyone experienced something similar?
Yeah kinda. I've never been competing with women really, and mostly been (very subconciously mind due,) trying to compete with guys or prove myself in some way. Not when I was very young though I don't think. Probably starting in late childhood.
I'm trans leaning the other way, so no I haven't experienced that. Why do you think this is related to feeling dysphoric about your gender though?
Well as someone who gets emasculated very easily and who is competitive I do get like that sometimes (I try not to with people who I know would win though ). I remember in elementary school challenging a dude friend of mine to an arm wrestling match (who was on the skinnier side because I had no upper body strength) but didn't take into account the extra testosterone he would have had... So we ended up being pretty evenly matched.
I'm not super competitive, but I have sort of the same thing going on! I always feel the need to be more masculine when around guys, and feel more okay being myself around girls. It's even worse around trans guys, especially those who pass more than me or have reached certain milestones I haven't. I've heard a lot of people have kind of issues like this.
Not OP, but I feel the same way, and the reason I feel the need to be "better" than a cis guy is so that I can prove I AM a guy. I don't look overly male and gaining muscle is more difficult for me. If I can't match/beat a cis guy, then it reminds me how I'm "not really a guy", which makes me feel awful and more dysphoric than normal. The result is that I like to compete with other men wherever I can to prove to them and myself that I'm more than my assigned gender.
Okay. I gotcha. I do this in reverse. I wear very feminine clothing to help prove that I'm more than my assigned gender. So that makes more sense now. Thanks SystemGlitch. :icon_wink
I have to say thay as someone who grew up with two brothers, being competitive with each other is something fairly normal among guys. Also as far as I know women don't actually compete with each other about makeup skills or who has bigger breasts, that's closer to something that men think that women do... :lol:
Play video games and enjoy seeing everyone around us think how unique we are for being a girl who plays video games when pretty much all girls do so... watching others play video games is also quite fun and binge watching tv shows... Talking with other girls about stuff is also nice!
To be a bit more serious, when I'm with other women, we tend to just talk about life and strengthen our bond through sharing stories and offering advice. As the women I speak to are mothers, we tend to chat quite a bit about children and reflecting on behavior and relationships. In university, we talked mostly about studying and stories that connect with university life... breasts are just not really an interesting discussion topic and are mostly recognized as a nuisance and makeup just feels a bit problematic as a topic as it often feels a bit shallow and works against modern perceptions of femininity. That's not to say that it never comes up as a topic, it just isn't that common as far as I know.
I was competitive as fuck with my brothers until I realized I was trans, I just don't feel the need of trying to be better in something than others. I talk about a lot of stuff, mostly sentimental/sensitive ones because let's see I'm sensitive as hell. For the other hand I'm such a tomboy, I love to watch and give my opinion about sports. But even with that I don't talk too much with my family except to my 2 brothers.
I definitely have a habit of wanting to compete with other men to "prove my worth", but I also never go too far because I realize I won't be able to beat them. XD It's a sad cycle, but I'm fine with it... I will also brag about how small my tits are and how I have an adam's apple with girls because it makes me feel a bit more masculine. XD I know it's petty, but I don't think it's so bad that I need to stop.
Oh if I know I'm not going to beat them it won't stop me, I'll just try harder and find something else. Damn, you got an adams apple? I'm jealous. I don't talk about how small my tits are, but more about how mich muscle I gained in my back and arms. Oh, now I'm motivated to work out ^^
