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Very confused about gender, only based on sex?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by ba1234, Aug 28, 2016.

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  1. ba1234

    ba1234
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    Hello everyone,

    I'm a 15 y/o gay boy (AMAB)
    Until recently I had never questioned my gender once, except for 'gender-bending' once when I was a toddler.
    But recently I realised that I find the idea of being penetrated vaginally much much more arousing than being penetrated anally. I have thought long and hard for several weeks, and I really don't think I want to be a woman in any other part of my life, but during sex.
    What could this mean? Am I trans? Any thoughts?

    Thank you
     
    #1 ba1234, Aug 28, 2016
  2. SystemGlitch

    SystemGlitch
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    That sounds more like a fetish to me, and I've heard other gay guys say similar things before. One of my irl friends once said, to quote from memory, "it just seems like it'd be easier and more fun - less prep and less pain". If you're pretty sure it's only sex-related, then that would qualify as a fetish in my books.

    To be more certain though, you could ask yourself these questions:
    - Does having a male body make you uncomfortable or unhappy in some way?
    - Does being seen or treated as male during your day to day life make you uncomfortable or unhappy in some way, or like you aren't being the "real you"?
    - Do you think having a female body would make you feel more comfortable, more happy, or more "correct"?
    - Do you think that being seen as and treated as female during your day to day life would make you feel more comfortable, more happy, or more like the "real you"?
    - If both male and female identities feel uncomfortable for you, do you think that being seen as "neutral", or as belonging to neither male or female but somewhere else/in-between, would be more comfortable or natural for you?
     
    #2 SystemGlitch, Aug 28, 2016
    Last edited: Aug 28, 2016
  3. ba1234

    ba1234
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    So would you say this is not a rare fetish for gay guys?

    As for your questions:
    Since I began to question my gender I sometimes feel a little uncomfortable with some of the changes occurring with my body (due to puberty) but I think that is just normal.

    I do not feel uncomfortable with being called 'he' or treated as male in day to day life.
     
    #3 ba1234, Aug 28, 2016
  4. SystemGlitch

    SystemGlitch
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    Sorry for the delayed response.

    I don't know if it's rare or not, I just know it is indeed a fetish some gay men have. :slight_smile:

    Judging from what you've said there, it doesn't sound like you are trans. Some people do get uncomfortable during puberty, and if it doesn't feel like something "wrong" is happening, then I'd be pretty comfortable saying that it is just a fetish that you have.
     
    #4 SystemGlitch, Aug 30, 2016
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