I feel like I really need to talk to my parents, my dysphoria has gotten worse and worse and I can't keep pretending that I'm okay. The problem is that I can't exactly just come out and I don't think that'd be wise. I'm more worried about my mom, I don't care what my dad thinks and we don't have a very good relationship. My mom has an anxiety disorder and she tends to panic a lot. She's suspected that I'm transgender for a long time, maybe two years but I've denied it because I don't want her to have a mental breakdown. I don't mean that as a joke either. I have the same disorder as her so I can understand how it feels when something unexpected happens, but I wish she could see that I'm not doing it to hurt her or rebel. Every time I hint that I don't like being treated as female, she starts to get mad and has started trying to "turn me back" and it's really creepy. She uses this condescending tone and tells me about how pretty I am, what I should wear, that I'm silly and I'm a girl like you could forget your sex. I'll stop now before this gets too long and I'm drifting away from my main point. I came out to the school guidance counselor as trans last year but I haven't brought it up since because she didn't like me talking about it. She said that she's a Christian and she has to listen to the Bible but I don't think the Bible says anything about trans people. See, I can tell the counselor my problems and she can call my parents to talk to them. She does that if she thinks the parents should be involved because they're more likely I take the counselor seriously. I'm just worried that if I tell her that I'm struggling, she'll like...betray me and out me to my parents because she never agreed with me being trans in the first place. Couldn't I ask her not to say that even if that's what's distressing me? I want to say that: • I don't feel like I fit in with the girls. I guess I could disguise this as something else because my girl friends have started being mean to me randomly I could say that I feel better with the boys now because of that. • I don't like wearing the girls' uniform. I never wear female clothes anyway so maybe this won't be too much of a shock. • I want to cut my hair. They already knew this. • I don't want to be treated like a girl...but this is mostly related to gender stereotypes and roles at school and home. • It's not fair that my friends don't have periods or breasts but I do (all my friends are male though). • I don't really like using the female bathroom but maybe this is pushing it too far... I feel like there's not going to be an easy way to bring this up because I think maybe all of this translates into "I am transgender"? Does it sound that way? I don't want my mom freaking out but I need to move forward and I can't without them having some knowledge of this. Can I ask the counselor not to mention the coming out and just pretend it never happened? I could say that I was confused as thought I was but I'd feel bad and I don't know if she'd buy it or if I could even go through with it :help:
I don't know a lot at all about the bible, but I have seen the verse where people think it's talking about transgender people, when it's actually about crossdressing. But, being your counselor is very religious, and tries to avoid the transgender topic because of it, I would definitely tell your mom yourself. There's no telling what the counselor may tell her, and I think you telling her yourself would be best. Maybe if she doesn't believe you, then possibly have the counselor call and talk to her. But, personally, I would just tell your mom that when she has the time, you would like to talk to her about something important. When it's just you and her, I would ask her if she wants you to be happy no matter what, because you're dealing with something that's causing you extreme unease. I would then tell her that you feel like a boy, as in transgender and that you came to her first about it because you felt the most comfortable in doing so. So, then she may feel good about you coming to her about it before anyone else. She'll definitely have questions, and just answer them regularly. Also, let her know that you're still the same person in terms of feelings, interests, and that you still care about her. You just aren't a girl, but a boy. Then just tell her, you want to cut your hair and start dressing more masculine. I believe all parents want their children to be happy, so once she realizes how much you're struggling with it, she should be fine. At first, possibly confused and shocked but overtime she'll come to terms with it. I explained that the best I could, something I'm not good at. But, good luck in what you decide to do! ^^
Colin: Are there any other possibilities for counseling, like an LGBT center? However, one possible problem may be your age. Not sure if people could extend counseling services without telling your parents. DeeAnn
I don't have much advice, but good luck Colin. It sounds like a difficult situation, but you've got this. (*hug*)
