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....Am I trans?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by atomic dorito, Aug 30, 2016.

  1. atomic dorito

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    I've always felt like I wasn't a pretty girl. I like wearing men's clothing and keeping my hair in a boyish cut, I correct people that call me a man in public but deep down I actually like it... What even makes a girl a boy? What makes a trans who they are? How do I know if I'm trans? Please help I'm so confused. :tears:
     
  2. Creativemind

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    Liking men's clothing and boyish haircuts doesn't make you trans, but if you want to be addressed by male pronouns and feel some sort of gender dysphoria, then you might be.
     
  3. SystemGlitch

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    What you're describing is just gender expression. Your level of beauty doesn't determine if you're trans (and I'm sure that you aren't an unattractive person, everyone is attractive to someone), nor does dressing in masculine clothing or having short hair. Trans people usually experience a feeling that their body or the way they are perceived in society is incorrect; for me, my female characteristics cause me a lot of distress, and I've always felt that I don't belong in the "female" category. Being perceived as a woman makes me very uncomfortable and it is physically painful sometimes to be referred to as a girl. I've always been somewhere in the middle of masculine and feminine, but I've still never felt "right" about being female. Some people feel this at a stronger or lesser intensity, but this sort of thing is one of the "key" signs that helps you figure out if you're trans. It's not so much what you do, it's what you feel. From what you've said, you sound like you're just a masculine girl rather than a boy.

    It might be helpful to think about these questions:
    - Do your body's female characteristics (your genitals, breasts, lack of body hair, soft features, etc.) make you unhappy, uncomfortable, and/or feel "incorrect"?
    - Does being seen/treated as female make you unhappy, uncomfortable, and/or feel "incorrect"?
    - Does the idea of having a male body appeal to you? Do you think it would make you feel more comfortable, more happy, and/or more "correct"?
    - Do you think that being seen/treated as male for the rest of your life would make you more happy, more comfortable, and/or feel more "correct"?

    A note as well: trans men aren't girls who are boys, they are just boys. Their sex may be female, but they have never been girls. It's also a little impolite to refer to a trans person as "a trans", since transgender is an adjective, not a noun. You probably didn't know this, but just thought I'd point it out for future reference. :thumbsup:
     
  4. darkcomesoon

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    How do you feel about your body? How do you feel about being seen as a girl? How do you feel calling yourself a girl vs. calling yourself a boy?

    Questions like that can help you figure it out. Girls can be masculine, have short hair, and wear men's clothing. However, girls don't usually want male bodies, see themselves as men, or want to be seen as men.
     
  5. Creativemind

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    I was originally going to say something similar to this. This is how I realized I was cis all along. I also went through a phase of questioning my gender because I am very androgynous and prefer more stereotypical boyish things. I don't like skirts, dresses, makeup, or even things like shaving (that I just put up with) and wondered if I was a dude. Turns out though....I get really uncomfortable when people call me "he" and I think having a male body would be awful and cause dysphoria in myself.

    It is an eye-opener and it made me realize that gender stereotypes =/= your real gender. I'm sure some non gender conforming trans people might feel similar?
     
  6. Blood Elf

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    You could be a crossdresser, or actually be transgender. You didn't give out much detail. But, I'll ask, do you dislike female pronouns? Do you not like or hate your genitals? Do you feel as if you should have been born a male (as in sex, not gender)? Most importantly, if you could change your sex for free, pain-free, with no negative side effects, would you?