Hey! I'm 15 and currently identify as male (sort of). However, recently I've been feeling less and less male. It started when I watched a video at school about a man that transitioned to female, and while watching it i was basically hypnotised. And since then I've been noticing things that I normally do are considered feminine. For example, I normally stand with my hip out, talk in quite a high pitched voice, but the main one is that it just doesn't look/feel right to have male "parts". I've always been a late bloomer when it comes to things like this so I never really thought about it. Also I recently wet out and bought some girls' clothes, and when I put them on it just seems right. On occasions I look into the mirror and immediately think "girl". I made a list about all the reasons why I think I'm trans but also why I don't think I'm trans: For T: -Penis looks/feels weird -Want to wear girls clothes -Shave every bit of hair -Want to wear make-up -Like guys and girls -Have a higher pitched voice -Want really long hair -Want to be the recessive one in a gay relationship -Cover nips -Feels weird people calling me "he"/"him" - Always been low key interested in the girls clothes when shopping with mum -Got an hourglass shape and skinny ass arms -I really want kids. Ive had a few dreams being pregnant -Naturally stand in quite a feminine pose Against T: -Got male parts -I go into male toilets/changing rooms -Always sit with my legs open -Wear guy's clothes -My avatar is a guy -When ever I make an account/game character they're always a guy -Don't really like sports -Never really fit in with the guys But also I'm not sure if I'm straight, gay or bi. Let me explain, so for the first 12-13 years of my life I've always liked girls only, but when puberty hit I started to think to other genders. So just to check I looked at some straight and gay porn and "it" got up on both occasions. But is my liking guys just a phase? I've never been in a legitimate relationship with either gender so I don't know, although recently I've found it harder and harder to masturbate to straight porn, it took 25 mins (TMI?). So I'm really stuck at who I am and where I stand so some advice would be AMAZING! My reaction trying to figure out what I am -> :bang: P.S. [YOUTUBE]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hGA-Qid-ChI[/YOUTUBE]
A lot of what you're talking about in your For/Against lists is just gender expression. Your gender expression (how masculine/feminine you are, what clothes you wear, the way you naturally hold your body, etc.) doesn't at all determine your gender identity. It's possible to be a feminine man or a masculine woman. Nor is your sexuality a good indicator, since as we all know there are such things as gay men and lesbian women - it's just as possible to be a gay trans man or a lesbian trans woman. Try not to get too caught up on these things when you're trying to figure out your gender identity. The fact that you have "male parts" right now also isn't really a reason against being trans. Nor is using male bathrooms or wearing male clothing - after all, where do you think a lot of trans people started off? :lol: You've been raised to be a boy, so of course you've been doing these things. It's what most of society expects of someone with a male body, and since the majority of society are cis, people never ask "which bathroom is more comfortable for you, boys or girls?", especially as I think a lot of very young kids wouldn't even know how to answer that. I am FTM, I began questioning when I was 14 and began identifying as male when I was 15. I had only ever used female bathrooms up til then and continued to use them until I was 16, then I started using disabled/unisex bathrooms; I still don't use the men's bathroom. I've only just started buying men's clothes as opposed to not-overly-feminine women's clothes. My "parts" are still very much female. None of this changes the fact that I am (and have always been) a man. :icon_wink The things that are more of note and better indicators in my mind are that you feel uncomfortable/a little off-put by your genitals and dislike being called male pronouns, as well as your desire to give birth to kids one day. You mentioned that you look at yourself and you think "girl"... does that feel correct to you? Ignoring the clothes or the mannerisms, when you picture yourself in your mind does the idea of you being female seem more accurate to you? Your body already sounds like it looks quite feminine, which might make it a bit hard to answer the next question but try to think about it - if your body was biologically female, including breasts and female genitals, do you think that you would feel more comfortable than you are now with your male body? If you imagine yourself going out into the world and picture yourself as a wonderful young woman, does that appeal to you? If possible see if you can join a site and create a profile under a female name, see if being called she and treated like a woman feels better for you. Porn is never a good indicator of your sexuality, especially for AMAB (assigned male at birth) people. It's common that just seeing a sexual act can cause arousal in someone, even if it's something that normally they wouldn't be interested in. Likewise some people just plain don't like some types of porn - many lesbian women say that they don't like lesbian porn because it doesn't appeal to them, but instead they enjoy gay male porn or straight porn. Instead of using porn, try to use your fantasies to work out your sexuality - if you fantasise about men, does it feel the same as when you fantasise about women? Is it as pleasurable and as intense, or does it feel like it's lacking something? Also do note that you don't need to actually date someone to know if you're gay. If straight people can say for certain "I'm straight!" without dating someone of the same gender, then you can say that you're gay/bi without having to date someone of the opposite gender. I hope that this was able to help somewhat, sorry if it got a little long. ^^;
Wow this was really enlightening. and honestly i forgot to mention but i do look down and immidiately think "flat chest" then proceed to think "obviously im a man", similar to the mirror thing i mentioned earlier... thank you so much! youve truly shown me what trans means, thanks again!
The against part just sounds like either things you cannot control or you just deal with it as you're out that way (I think I worded this right?). You got male parts because you were born in a males body. Doesn't make you less trans, the fact if you dislike/hate them is what would make you trans, not simply having them. The bathrooms, you were raised as a male, as you start to change your look and out yourself to people, it'll probably change. Then the other reasons, a lot of girls do. I've seen girls sit with their legs opened, and wear guy clothes. The fact that you do doesn't make you less trans. Because, based on what you think makes you think you're trans sounds pretty legit. You sound trans to me, you just don't sound like you're out. As for your sexuality, don't based it on porn. Lots of straight people watch gay porn and vice versa. If you yourself aren't attracted to it and/or believe you cannot participate in it (referring to gay porn) then you're probably not gay. Hope this came out well, as I'm bad at wording.
