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Coming out on facebook

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Rickystarr, Sep 1, 2016.

  1. Rickystarr

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    Location:
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    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    When is the right time to do this and how should I do it? I was thinking of making a brand new account and just adding people who know already and maybe deleting my old one. But apparently my mom outed me to my aunt and grandma the other day and one of the main reasons I didn't want to go public on facebook was because I didn't really want my mormon extended family to know about it, at least not for a while. Idk if they will spread it around though.

    Anyway, all the people in my life who matter already know at this point so I don't know what I'm waiting for.

    Maybe I'll make a short status about it on my old account and tell people they can add me on my new page if they want then delete my old one after a few days.

    How did you all go about this?
     
    #1 Rickystarr, Sep 1, 2016
    Last edited: Sep 1, 2016
  2. faustian1

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    If you don't care about losing control of who knows, it will work to use facebook. Most likely, if all have access to your likes and groups and all the rest, then if their IQ is above single digit territory, they've already figured it out.

    Are you sure you want to do this on facebook? If you have an extended LDS family, then it could turn into a disaster. On the other hand, if you want to be out and proud, there's no better way to do it.
     
  3. Rickystarr

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    Eh, like I said, everyone who matters already knows. The only people it will be news to are old friends, acquaintances and extended family. The extended family I already have very little contact with and wouldn't care if I had even less or none. My main concern is just that it will be awkward and I'll get weird comments.

    ---------- Post added 1st Sep 2016 at 03:58 PM ----------

    Also, I have never indicated on fb in anyway that I am trans. I don't belong to any trans groups or talk about it in anyway.
     
    #3 Rickystarr, Sep 1, 2016
    Last edited: Sep 1, 2016
  4. AaronV

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    I made a new account and send a message to all the people I wanted to stay in contact with a message before sending them a friend request.
    What I forgot about was the fact that the two accounts had loads of overlapping friend groups so many people I didn't necessarily wanted to come out to saw it in their "people you might know" section, which is how I got outed at work. (Some even thought I had a twin brother no one knew about. ^^ ) Since I was about to quit the job anyway I didn't really care but you might want to keep that in mind.
    After I had saved all the pictures from the old account I deleted it, so people I'm stealth with wouldn't find the other account or pictures somehow.
    Overall I thought it was a pretty efficient way. You can come out to many people at once and it's not awfully personal.
     
  5. Aberrance

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    Sexual Orientation:
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    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I have a couple threads about coming out on fb if you want to check them out. I think the way I went about it was probably the best I could have done in my situation. Making a status on my old account explaining and directing people to the new one, then the people who are accepting can add me new one and those that aren't can deal with it (the exact status that I wrote was on one of those threads too if you want any templates).

    You have to be careful though because like someone else said, it will spread to friends and friends of friends. People who I deleted off Facebook years ago started adding me and liking my status so just be mindful of that. I've now deactivated my old Facebook and it feels good not to have any old status' or pictures floating around anywhere anymore.
     
  6. Rickystarr

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    I mentioned this in the small victories thread, but yeah so I did it! I only posted it like an hour ago and have gotten a lot of positive comments and likes and lots of people have added me on my new page, so that is a relief. Not that I was really expecting anything negative but that was nice. People I hardly know especially were saying really nice things.

    Only somewhat weird thing I got was from my aunt "I'm confused. You saying your not gay. But you think your a boy ??" but that was kind of my fault for starting the status off with the statement "I'm straight" haha. One of my old friends quickly educated her and used the right pronouns and everything.

    If y'all have nothing to lose and are tired of hiding, I suggest coming out on facebook very highly. I've been cringing at hearing the wrong pronouns and what not for ever, and all I had to do with tell people. Who'dve thought? XD

    ---------- Post added 6th Sep 2016 at 03:22 PM ----------

    Also, someone I went to middle school said she knew something was different about me even back then. Idk if that is just hindsight bias or what, but I didn't know then. Though I did kind of want a hysterectomy even at that age...

    Only thing I regret was unfriending a bunch of people right before I did it. Mostly people I don't really want to talk to about it, but now that I've had such a positive response I think it couldn't have been so bad.
     
    #6 Rickystarr, Sep 6, 2016
    Last edited: Sep 6, 2016