Hello. I'm not sure where to start. My body is male, but I'm feeling more and more like my mind is female. I'm 16. I don't think I have "significant distress" with my being male, but I would really, really prefer to be female. I think I've felt this to some degree since I was about twelve, but I don't really know, I'd never thought about it much before. I was never really apart of any social groups, back then I had about two close friends. One is now my girlfriend, but it doesn't feel right. Like, if I could flip a switch and swap our bodies- no, genders- I would. Or even just mine, if she wanted. Even if she didn't want, I would still do it to myself and still be friends, hopefully. I love her, but... It feels right that I should be a girl. To my knowledge I haven't felt this when I was younger, but there was never really anything about it, nor any knowledge that there was another option. When I was twelve or so, (probably a little bit older) I played Minecraft. My username was gender-ambiguous, though I had always intended to be solely male since that's what I was. But when I joined a server with my gender-ambiguous skin, I wound up being a girl. I pretended to be a 16 year old girl when I was 12. It was a really boring server to me, honestly, but the social interactions of being a girl made it heaven. I made some really close friends and I even loved a 15-year-old boy. I didn't do it to deceive or hurt or anything, it just really felt right. I played on that server for at least a year, but it eventually got to me that I really didn't like anything about the server other than the people who played on it, and my own persona from being there. I never thought about it, it just happened. Now I'm doing it again on a gaming website, pretending to be a 16-year-old girl now that I'm actually 16. I dated another guy. Nobody questions my femininity. Now I feel like I'm realizing now that those female characters that I created when I made those accounts, joined that server, aren't characters. They're me. And I'm them. I'm not sure what to do. I've never cross-dressed or felt the need to do so, I don't really wear any clothes that would define me. Actually, lately I have been wondering what would I would look like, what I would wear, etc. if I was to choose to become female. I used to tell myself that if I had three wishes, or could have a superpower, or something of the sort, I would become Mystique/Raven from X-Men, mostly so I could change gender at will. Now I'm feeling more like I just wish I could become a girl. I don't know where this is leading and I don't know what I expect. Whatever input you have, I would appreciate. I guess I wanted your opinion of whether I'm transgender, but I guess I've pretty much answered that in writing this. I don't know how to proceed, though. So maybe confirmation? Do you think I am? Is there a better way to know? Do you have any questions that may clarify? :help:
It sounds like a possibility. Given that you're 16, I suppose a gender therapist wouldn't be an option? Because, that would be the best thing to do is to seek out one. But, do you feel unhappy with your sex? Do you hate/dislike your male parts? If you could change your body to the opposite sexes for free, painlessly, and no negative effects, would you? If you answer "yes" for all of those, then personally I believe you could be but it's not a guarantee.
I would see one if I could.. I don't know that I'm unhappy, but I'm not happy with my sex. I really don't know if I dislike my male parts. I don't "like" them, for sure, and it would make me happier if they could just magically be replaced with the opposite. If I could change my body to the opposite sex, I would. Not to "test it out" or "see what it's like". To live.
Well, you don't have to wear girl clothes to be a girl. So there's that. And like the other person said, a gender therapist would really help you sort out the rest. There are so many possibilities for you at this point. A therapist can help you sort through all of them and find the one that fits you best and then you'll start to learn what to do from there. Just remember-- find the possibility that fits you. Don't try to fit a possibility. Oh, and keep coming back here and talking through things even if you do get a therapist. A lot of people here have some great life experience to share!
Okay. A therapist sounds like a good idea, but... Would I have to tell my mom? Probably, right? It took like 8 months to tell her about my crush. :icon_redf Having posted here I'm feeling better about myself but more sure that I need to do something about this. Figuring out what does not tend to be one of my strong points.
I'm going to tell my mom ASAP. I really want to do it in-person, and had planned to today but a change of plans means I won't see her until Tuesday night. Normally with this kind of thing I would text her or write a note or email but I don't think I can get it across right. Also, I think I'm going to make an another account that I will actually use (this one was mostly for anonymity: wrong birthdate, email, etc.) I have no idea at all how she'll respond, I can only hope she'll accept it and help.
Or not, I've been informed that I should instead request a username change and date of birth change and change my email.
y: I agree with having the discussion in person if at all possible. Even with live conversations over the phone or texting, there is much about communication that just doesn't get transferred. Last year I had The Conversation with my kids (41 and 34) before I outted myself in front of MANY people. Even though they didn't live anywhere close, I wanted to make sure that they heard the story from me. But, because of the distances, it had to be a phone conversation. Not ideal, but 'way ahead of anything else. It can be helpful to think about how you want to go about presenting this information. It doesn't need scripting, but you do want to make sure you cover all the things that you think are important. And yes, there will definitely be questions! DeeAnn
