Okay so I've been trying to do some research to better explain how I'm feeling, but I think it'd be better to get some actual advice for my situation. I don't neccesarily want to find a label for myself, just better understand how I feel. I was born physically male and for the most part feel perfectly comfortable that way. However, on and off I'll have times where I feel as though I'd much rather be female. Occasionally this will be accompanied by feeling like I want breasts, and almost being uncomfortable that I don't have any. I've noticed a lot of these feelings through creative writing that I do. I often write from female perspectives and enjoy doing so. Also, my girlfriend and I roleplay through text or in person and I've always felt comfortable and had fun with taking on female roles. But it's not consistently that I feel this way and I am perfectly happy being male most of the time. Gender roles have always just seemed strange to me, and I don't really fall into any steryotypes or norms for a male or female. Sometimes I think I act more feminine and sometimes more masculine. I guess I'm just looking for some explination or at least the knowledge that other people feel this way too. I've been looking up some things about being bigendered or gender fluid, but I don't know for sure that those are the case. If anyone could offer any advice or something that'd be great. Thanks for reading.
Whether you're feminine or masculine doesn't really determine your gender identity. Feminine men and masculine women exist. There are also a lot of people who don't conform to gender roles but are cis. Being trans is a lot less about what you do or act, but about how you feel - what you mention about being uncomfortable without breasts for example. During those times where you'd rather be female, is it more of a "being a woman would be nice" or an "I am/should be a woman" feeling? Do you think you'd be comfortable going out into the world as female during those times that you shift, being called female pronouns/a female or gender-neutral name?
During those times it's the first option, that being a woman would be nice. I don't feel as though I am or always should be a woman. As for your second question, that's hard. Right now where I'm at I'd have to say I wouldn't be comfortable out in the world as female, although I don't think I'd mind female pronouns being used if it happened.
That doesn't really sound like being genderfluid then, at least in my opinion. It seems more like maybe you just appreciate femininity and would like to be able to explore it further, and since most men "can't be feminine" in society, it might be presenting itself as an occassional thought that being female would be enjoyable. Trans people usually have the feeling of "I AM this gender" rather than "I would like to be this gender". Most cis people are also generally okay with the idea of different pronouns because they don't have the feeling of "this isn't right, why is everyone insisting I'm that when I'm not?" that trans people often experience. If it doesn't feel like it would be more "correct" or more appropriate for people to call you female when you have those moments, I'd guess that you aren't trans. Trans experiences aren't always the same though, so take this with a grain of salt. If you would like to explore it a bit further and you can afford it, it might be an idea to talk to a gender therapist.
