Looking more natural and energetic in preferred clothes?

I've been told before when I had to wear a dress that I looked like I was made of wood, that I looked miserable and stiff and very clearly uncomfortable. This was before I realised I was trans. Lately since I've been wearing male clothing I've made a lot more aquaintances, I'm happier to chat to people or goof around and I also just feel more outgoing. I feel like it has something to do with confidence and self-esteem - when we're wearing the wrong clothes, we know it's wrong, it affects our self-image which will show itself. But when we're in our clothes, the good clothes, we know that we're right now. It gives us the confidence boost we need to be ourselves and be more natural and happy. Congrats on taking the steps to be yourself, it takes a lot of courage but it feels great when you're able to climb that mountain!

 

I think so. A lot of my male persona is performance strictly. And there's this level of awkward. A friend who was also an ex-gf told me after I came out to her a lot of times I seemed uncomfortable with myself and she thought it was her being around me but then she understood. So when I started presenting as female, I just felt more like myself. I was SUPER outgoing and confident until I was like 6 or 7 and the gender stuff and having to learn to hide myself made me an artificial introvert. It's like coming back to my true self and a lot of the pain of the intervening years just drops away.

So I can definitely see that. I can understand also why a lot of AFAB or cisgender women DON'T feel confident or happy with themselves because of the junk society and media puts on them, but we have a lot of that and the burden of performing a gender that's not ours on top of it so even if it's not quite the same there's some overlap of results and damage. When you get to be yourself, fully yourself, among people who love you unconditionally, that is a very liberating thing no matter who you are.

 

Understandable. Presenting in your genuine gender is a major confidence boost.

 

l d j:

I understand the effect that you're speaking about, but it is a bit different for me; the origins anyway. Coming to grips with my sexuality happened many years before I sorted out my gender identity. As I became more comfortable with the idea that I wasn't straight, I realized that I put a fair amount of effort into posturing. This effected me mentally and physically. Mentally it wasn't so much that I was trying to be macho. I think I was just trying to avoid any hint of femininity in my behaviors and being called on it. Physically, it was moving in a more masculine way and attempting to have presence.

Over the years what I've noticed is that I'm much less concerned about what others think and have relaxed quite a bit. However, what I've noticed is that when I am dressed, most of that last bit goes away. It's pretty difficult to posture with heels, a purse, breast forms and a bra!! One way this plays out is often when I want to talk to a guy (just socially with no agenda at work) is that I will touch them to get their attention. That would be rare for me when not dressed.

I think what's happening, for both of us actually, is the realization that the previous rules (mostly unwritten!) don't apply or at least we are no longer bound by them. And yes, clothes do make the woman also!

DeeAnn

 

No one has mentioned how I appear but I now when I wear a dress or skirt or I show my chest I feel very anxious and tense and when I'm wearing men's clothes I relax a lot more and feel comfortable.

 

i can actually relate a bit with nightowl88, but i suspect its because i dont want to reveal too much of my fats (boobs and my thighs), or because i am just self conscious about my body. not sure which.

i do wonder why i dont like to wear dresses (despite the fact that i look good in them), and would rather wear those tomboyish jeans.

 

I haven't gone outside in female clothes yet, but whenever I wear them at home, I feel so much more confident and..... Free. I need to get some more clothes though, my feminine wardrobe is bare as hell. Now I see where the "girls like clothes shopping" stereotype comes from lol.

Anyway I'm proud of you going to school in a feminine outfit. That takes a lot of courage!

 

Gender Euphoria? Sounds like Gender Euphoria.

 

Once I started dressing how I wanted and passing both of my parents told me that I acted more confident, and I was certainly more energetic and motivated to do things.